You Never Said Goodbye

Moving on

Yeri POV

So, I hate to say it but my life is perfect. I have a great job as a model. So far its been mostly print material and commercials but my manager’s trying to get me booked as the spokesperson for some brands. Having studied acting for many years it has honed my skills and I’m slowly trying to enter the television drama scene. I have a fantastic girlfriend who happens to also be my best friend and I have my own apartment. I’ve got food on the table and money in my bank account. I am successful and loved. But why does it feel like something is missing? Why does it feel like I need you beside me for all this to be worth something?

Even though we only spent summer break together when I was 15 and you were 14, I still remember everything. We entered the academy at the same time to pursue our passions. You wanted to sing and dance, I wanted to act and dance. And well, we met at dance class and I helped you out. You were shy and incredibly polite but incessantly charming, adorable, pretty and talented. I was known as the angel around the academy but in my eyes you were the true angel.

We spent every minute together and I have to say that those were the best days of my life. Your personality and outlook put a new take on everything. I started to stop and appreciate the things and people around me. It wasn’t about my passion and ambition anymore. You helped me be a better person. You were my first love Son Seungwan. But once summer break ended that year we couldn’t keep in touch and I lost you.

Its’ been 8 years and I still wish you were beside me to share my success; I wish you were beside me so that I could better appreciate my life. But you’re not here and I miss you. I miss those days where everything was simple; those times where we were training to achieve our dreams. Where did you go?

For the most, I’ve moved on. Joy and I are inseparable. We’ve known each other and Chaeyoung since elementary school and she’s been my best friend since. JoyRi forever you know? Honestly I wouldn’t know where I would be without Joy. She’s always stood beside me, encouraging me, comforting me and loving me. We started off playing and joking together and somewhere along the line we started caring for each other. Our personalities match and so do our interests and characters. I love her but I also wish I were more in love with her.

Lately Joy’s been incredibly sweet, attentive and also secretive. She’s up to something and I know it in my bones. I’ve been getting little notes daily with writings like “I love you” and “You make my life complete”. The flowers that are delivered to my place some mornings plaster a grin on my face for the whole day. The couple shirt, massages and preparing my favourite food are absolute pluses. I have this feeling she wants to propose to me and if she did I would say “yes”. I would be stupid not to and I am anything but.

I’m not going to give up a perfect relationship with a perfect girl for some residual feelings I have towards you. I know you’re gone and you’re never coming back in my life again. I know Joy loves me and she’ll stay in my life till death do us part. I’m moving on. I really am…

There is no one out there better for me than Joy; not even you Son Seungwan. I know that, I just wish I can truly let go of you one day and wholeheartedly be with the one who loves me. But I guess what people say is true, you never really forget your first love.

I’ve never told anyone about you, not even Joy or Chaeyoung. I want it to stay that way. My memories of us, my feelings for you

– they are mine alone. You are my secret.