You Never Said Goodbye

Confrontations (II)

Jennie POV

Ever since Lisa met Chaeyoung she’s been easily agitated. I know she doesn’t mean to but she gets angry easily and she takes it out on me. We’re fighting more now. I don’t want to fight. She told me what happened and why Chaeyoung left. I understand why she’s angry. But to see her so affected by it, I know that in a way I’ve lost to Chaeyoung.

Lisa has never been so badly affected by me. I’ve never caused her to get so riled up or upset. One can say that the last day of our weekend trip was proof that I do affect her. I wanted to believe that too but now after all that has transpired, I know that part of her reaction to me leaving was her abandonment issues. And guess who caused her abandonment issues in the first place. Chaeyoung.

I try to let things go and to take all she throws at me in stride but its tough to be the punching bag of the person you love. And I know she’s angry at me too. She’s angry that I’m in her life and she can’t freely go to Chaeyoung. Lisa’s frustrated that she’s stuck between Chaeyoung and me.

I try to do nice things for her. I try to take care of her. I try to make her happy. But she keeps finding fault. I want to stay, I really really do. But she’s making it so difficult. I love her so much but I honestly don’t like her a lot right now.

Tonight she’s ignoring me as we watch television and I just want to cry. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this. We haven’t been making love anymore, we’ve just been having sex. And there is a difference. And it hurts. She’s so far away yet she’s just next to me.

Her handphone rings and she picks it up.

‘Hello, who’s this?... Oh… now?... why?..... bye.’

‘Lis who was that?’ you remain silent. Again, you ignore me and it hurts. Unexpectedly you start talking.

‘That’s Chaeyoung’s friend. She has something to tell me. She’s downstairs now. Do you want to come with me?’ you get up without waiting for me to reply and it hurts.

What happened to the caring loving girlfriend who told me to stay? What happened to the girl who sang to me? What happened to the girl who said she doesn’t want to leave me?

What happened to the girl wo told me she loves me? I have no strength to fight, I only have enough strength to stand by her side to support her and wait for her.

When we get downstairs I see an attractive girl carrying a large heavy box.

She turns to greet Lisa. ‘Hi, I’m Jisoo. I’m sorry to disturb you but there are things you need to know about Chaeng… The box is for you. You need to see things.’ She hands the box over to Lisa who just takes the box, nods her head and goes off.

I’m left standing there with Jisoo and for some reason I feel an affinity with her.

‘Why are you doing this?’ I ask.

‘Because Chaeng’s hurting and I can’t stand seeing her like this. And because… because Lisa doesn’t know the full story.’

I sense the hesitation, the regret, the sadness and pain behind her words.

‘You love her don’t you? That’s why you’re doing this.’

Jisoo look at me stunned; surprised that I can see through her.

‘How did you… did I say anything.. wait..’

Her confusion is apparent and I reply ‘I’m in love with Lisa too, I understand. I’d do anything for her to be happy. Even if it means… you know what I mean. We’re the pathetic fools who are stuck in their love story.’