Stonehearts 5: Emerald

Twenty Six

Hindi ko lubos maisip kung paano ako napilit ng magpinsan na 'yon na kunin ang Shih Tzu na iniaabot nila sa akin nang pumasok ako sa loob ng consultation room.

Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit puro 'oo', 'okay', at 'sige' ang nasagot ko habang nagpapaliwanag si Fire kung ano ang dapat at hindi dapat gawin lalo na't first time pawrent ako.

At hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako nagbigay ng komento at suhestyon habang namimili si Cael ng gamit at pagkain ng aso.

And now I'm here, sitting on one of my barstools in the kitchen, drinking some wine to calm my nerves, as I watched Cael play with the dog or Oreo - the name they've been insisting I use.

"Isma, tignan mo oh! He's very playful. Matutuwa ka sa kanya." Sabi niya habang pinapahabol sa maliit na aso ang panyo niya.

Pinanood ko ang munting tuta na kumakahol habang tinitikis ito ni Cael. I gotta admit, cute naman talaga si Oreo, kahit ang pagkahol niya ang cute rin. Kaso wala naman ako sa tamang kundisyon mag-alaga ng aso, ako nga mismo hindi ko maalagaan eh.

"Mukha ba akong natutuwa, Climente?" Masungit na sagot ko sa kanya.

Sandali siyang napatingin sa'kin at nagmistulang nag-iisip ng malalim.

"Hindi. Mukha kang magbibigay ng chance sa aso na gusto kang makasama."

I snickered before sipping some more wine. "At talagang sinabi sa'yo 'yan ng aso?"

He rolled his eyes at me then he carried the dog. He put their faces next to each other before he gave his best 'puppy dog eye' look.

"Ayaw mo ba sa'min?" Tanong niya sabay simangot.

Natawa ako ng bahagya saka napa-iling.

"So, gusto mo ako?" Sunod na tanong naman niya sabay kindat. Now it's my turn to roll my eyes at him.

"You wish, Climente." Tugon ko sabay baling ng tingin sa iba. Pero sa totoo lang biglang kumabog ang dibdib ko sa tanong niya. Pinagdadasal ko na lang na 'wag sanang uminit at mamula ang mga pisngi ko.

"Oh, I'm wishing about that alright. Every fvcking day." He said matter-o-factly which made me turn to look at him again.

He already set the dog down on the floor and has his gaze glued on me. He didn't have any ounce of coyness in his face. He was just staring at me directly, his stare boring into me so deep that I might have dreams about his dark coffee eyes for days.

I tried clearing my throat to release the tension that's been piling up on my chest.

"I hope by now, it's already clear to you that I'm not going anywhere. Whatever sh*t you do, whatever the fvck you say. I will still be going after you until you get tired from running away from me. From this."

I have thought of a thousand of different replies on what he said but I can't seem to move my mouth to speak, felt like I have swallowed my tongue for good. What made the moment more awkward was that we fell into a staring contest while silence hovered over us like a thick blanket. Wala na akong ibang marinig kundi ang malalim na paghinga ko. I swear my heart was running faster than a cheetah, making my palms, feet and even my pits sweat profusely.

Maya maya tumayo na siya, napahawak ako ng mahigpit sa wine glass na pinag-iinuman ko. Naisipan ko nang tumakbo at magkulong sa kwarto para makalayo sa kanya kaso hindi na rin naki-ayon ang mga paa ko sa akin.

Sinundan naman siya si Oreo, so he gave him a few pats on the head before stalking his way towards me. He went on a full stop just a few inches from me and as soon as his masculine scent filled my lungs, I immediately looked at our feet. I don't know why I feel giddy and afraid oh so suddenly.

A few moments later, I found my chin in between his thumb and index finger. He used that so he can gently tip my head so that our eyes will lock, and it did.

His face was deadly serious, but his eyes looked so warm and soft. I always wondered how he can be the perfect mixture of contrasting ideas.

"Emerald." He started.

I was waiting for the time I can muster the strength to look away. But the more I stare on his beautiful eyes, the more I get lost on the ocean of his presence.

"Wala naman akong ibang hinihiling sa'yo, just let go and trust me. Walang bagyong hindi natatapos."

"Pero may bagyong nakakapinsala ng sobra." Sapaw ko sa kanya.

Muli kaming nagkatitigan saka siya dumukwang para halikan ako muli sa noo. His lips stayed there longer than it should. Then he leaned down, framed my face using his hands and rested his forehead on mine.

"I wish you would believe me when I say I'll do anything to take the pain away. You don't deserve this, Era. Hell, no one deserves this. But that's life and whatever sh*t it throws, we have no choice but to make the best out of it." He said all of that with his eyes closed. Then he stood straight up, took my hand and placed it right where his heart beats. "I am hoping that you'll see me as the best in this sh*tty, cruel life."

I was looking intently in his eyes while I was absorbed in th rhythm of his frantic heart. I don't know how he looked so calm while his heart was protesting wildly.

"Cael, hindi pwede ang gusto mo." Hindi ko alam kung bakit 'yon ang sagot ko. Hindi ko rin naman alam ang sasabihin kapag tinanong niya ako kung bakit hindi pupwede.

He gently freed my hand but he's still looking at me as if he is memorizing every detail of my face. He then rubbed his thumb on my cheek then he spoke, "'Yong pagkain ni Oreo, iniwan ko pala sa may tabi ng cabinet sa gilid ng T.V. Pwede mo na siyang ilagay sa cage niya kapag matutulog ka na, basta 'wag mong kalimutan ilagay rin sa loob ang pakainan at ang tubigan niya."

Nagulat ako sa biglang pagbago ng topic at mood niya na hindi ako nakasagot. Saka siya umalis sa harap ko para kunin ang cellphone at wallet niya na nasa mesa sa sala. Wala siyang kibo na nagtungo sa main door, hawak na niya ang doorknob saka siya muling lumingon sa akin at nagsalita.

"Sabi ko naman sa'yo, Isma. Hindi ako tumatanggap ng 'hindi', lalong-lalo na ang 'hindi pwede."

With that he left.