Stonehearts 5: Emerald

Twenty Five

I didn't know how long I was clinging to him as if he is the only source of my strength. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano kami napunta sa sofa, siya nakaupo habang ako nakaupo sa mga hita niya. He was hushing me, telling me that it will soon be better, convincing me that there will always be rainbow after an ugly storm. All I wanted to do was to ask him how long I will wait for this terrible storm to end. But I couldn't. I am choked up with the pain I am drowned into that I was barely breathing. Why is it that all people die but not all of us live?

"Emerald, you have to breathe." His deep baritone voice got me looking up at his beautiful face.

His brows were drawn together, lips pressed in a thin line, and eyes glossy from what I think are unshed tears. For a moment, I wanted to believe that he is also feeling the heavy pressing in my heart.

He held my hand, the one that's tightly fisting his now crumpled light blue polo, before pressing a long, chaste kiss on my forehead.

"I can help you with the baggage." He whispered.

And as if on cue, the waterworks started. Gusto kong tumayo at lumayo sa kanya pero nawalan na ako ng lakas para maglakad patungo kung saan man na hindi niya ako mahahawakan.

"Bago mo pa maituloy kung ano man ang tumatakbo sa isipan mo. My answer is no, Era." He continued, his tone hard and determined. "I already gave you the time you needed to grieve on your own. I won't let you push me away. Alam kong alam mong kailangan mo ng kasama, nang makakausap, pero natatakot ka. Natatakot kang maiwan ulit. Era, nandito kami. Ang pamilya mo, kaibigan mo. Era, nandito ako."

"Hindi mo naiintindihan, Cael– "

"Then make me understand." Agad na sapaw niya sa sasabihin ko. Nagkatitigan na lang kami ng katihimikan na lang ang bumalot sa aming dalawa.

Gusto ko siyang pagtabuyan. Sabihan na ang kapal ng mukha niyang sabihan ako ng ganitong mga bagay gayong hindi naman niya alam pinagdadaanan ko. He doesn't know the fear that consumes me when I think about opening to someone again after Marcus. He doesn't understand and will never understand.

So with a puffy face, sore throat, and burning eyes. I muster all the courage I have just so I can answer him.

"Hindi mo maiintindihan hangga't hindi nangyayari sa'yo." I croaked.

I saw frustration etched on his face. Akala ko nga may sasabihin nanaman siya para kumbinsihin ako pero wala. He just closed his eyes for moment, as if collecting his thoughts, then he spoke.

"Sige na, bumalik ka na sa banyo para mag-ayos. I know you would want to fix your ruined make-up. Pwedeng-pwede naman natin ulit balikan 'tong usapan na 'to." Then he ended his sentence with a toothy smile.

I looked at him bewildered. How can he talk to me as if we didn't just have that heartbreaking conversation?

"I don't understand." Bulong ko sa kanya. Nginitian niya lang ako sabay punas ng mga natitirang luha ko gamit ang magkabilang hinlalaki niya.

"Then I will make you understand." He answered right back; his voice laced with sincerity.

Wala akong nasagot. Tumayo na lang ako ng dahan-dahan at nagpunta pabalik sa kwarto ko. How he makes me feel multitude of emotions in one seating is beyond me.

I rested my palms at the edge on my bathroom sink before gazing at my own face. I looked like hell from ugly crying but again, for the first time in a very long time, my eyes weren't empty anymore. They are glowing from different emotions Cael made me feel just a few seconds ago. It looks different on me and it feels different too.

I took my time retouching my make-up and fixing my up do. Lumabas ako at nadatnan na nakatitig si Cael sa mantsa ng frame na nasa dingding.

"T-tara na ba?" Yaya ko kahit hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupunta. Ang pagkakatanda ko pa nga kanina, ayaw kong sumama.

"Sinubukan mo na bang gamitan ito ng Baking Powder?" Tugon niya sabay turo sa dumi sa dingding.

Umiling ako, "Hindi ko naman gustong tanggaling yan. Balak kong ibalik ang nakasabit diyan sa araw na maging handa ako." Matalinhagang sagot ko. Inasahan kong magtatanong siya kung ano ba ang dating nakasukbit doon pero laking gulat ko ng tumango lang siya.

"Halika na. Late na tayo."

"Saan ba tayo?" Tanong ko habang sinusundan siya papalabas ng unit ko.

Nilingon naman niya ako bago siya sumagot, "Nasa simula." Sambit niya sabay kindat.

Kinunutan ko siya ng noo, "Ang gulo mong kausap." Sagot ko sabay irap. Tumawa lang ang mokong saka tuloy-tuloy na lumabas ng condo unit ko.

Ilang beses ko siyang pinilit na sabihin na sa akin kung saan ang punta namin pero matigas talaga siya. Dahil simula sa lakad namin pababa ng parking lot hanggang sa nagmamaneho siya wala siyang ibang binigay na kahit na anong clue.

"Sige, hindi na kita pipilitan sabihin kung saan ang punta natin. Sabihin mo na lang kung bakit." I said while my gaze is directly fixed on the road in front of us.

He stopped by the red light and in my peripheral vision, I saw him staring at me.

"To make you understand." He quizzically answered.

"Understand what?" I immediately fired back.

"Soon, you'll realize." He said with a wink. I just rolled my eyes at him. This is Cael, kapag ayaw niyang sabihin hindi mo talaga siya mapipilit. Paiikutin niya lang ng paiikutin ang mga sinasabi niya.

"We're here!" He announced, knocking me off from my deep thoughts. I looked outside and he pointed the veterinary clinic on my side of the road.

I looked at him confused he just chuckled before he reached out and tucked the strand of hair loose from my pony behind my ear.

"Halika na sa loob para malaman mo." He urged.

Wala naman akong nagawa. Sumama na lang ako sa kanya, curiosity winning over.

Pumasok kami at nadatnang medyo busy ang clinic. Maraming tao ang nasa harap ng reception na may bitbit na kanya-kanyang mga alaga.

Humawak ako sa braso ni Cael para mabulungan siya, "Ano ba ginagawa natin dito?" Tanong ko pero hindi na niya ako nasagot dahil may tinawag siyang pangalan.

"Fire!"

"Kuya Cael!" Sagot naman pabalik ng babae.

Hindi naman agad namintis ang tingin nito dahil diretso siya sa kamay ko na nakapulupot sa braso ni Cael.

"Ganda ng buhok mo, green." Bati niya na may ngiti.

"Bakit Fire, pero dark blue ang buhok mo?" It was too late when I notice that I voiced out the question in my mind.

Good thing she just laughed, "Hindi ikaw ang unang nagtanong." Sambit niya. "I'm Fire by the way. I'm guessing ikaw si Era? Kuya Cael can't stop talking about you. He always– "

Hindi na natuloy ni Fire ang sasabihin niya nang biglang tapalan ni Cael ng palad niya ang bibig nito.

"Ang daldal mo naman talaga, Doctor Fire. Baka naman gusto mo na kaming dalhin sa loob dahil marami na kayong kliyente." Tugon ni Cael na parang pinapatay na si Fire sa tingin.

Tumayo lang siya sabay baling ng tingin sa akin. "Pagpasensyahan mo na ang pinsan ko Era, may pagkabugnutin talaga 'yan." Kunwaring bulong niya pero alam ko sinadya niya 'yon para marinig ni Cael. "Tara sa loob, kanina pa kayo hinihintay ni Oreo."

Baka pa ako makapagtanong sa kanya ay nagsimula na siyang maglalakad papasok sa pinto na naghihiwalay sa reception area at consultation rooms sa loob.

Pinigilan ko si Cael sa pagsunod sa pinsan niya saka ako nagtanong. "Sino si Oreo, Cael?"

Inakbayan niya ako saka siya sumagot. "'Yong bago mong aso."