Zainab's Little Secret

33.

I tried to calm him down but none of my tactics worked and I kissed him and hugged him even tighter to reassure him that I was here for him if he needed anything. The tension in the atmosphere went from bad to a romantic one before we got a phone call that ruined the family's entire joy, caused chaos and sadness. It was after the fajr prayer Murphy received a call from someone that his elder sister Mrs Bashirah Jiddah had died and that they need to carry her body....

He just screamed and was shaking uncontrollably that I was so shocked as I've never seen him that heartbroken and vulnerable. Immediately his eyes became glassy and red. I shook him with all my might but he still did not look at me. So instead I dialled the number and asked about what happened only to be told the sad news. My heart was shattered, broken and bleeding from the sharp stinging pain. I couldn't control my waterworks as I covered my mouth with the pillow so as to reduce my cries and wails. I went close to Murphy and hugged him so tight like my life depended on it. He suddenly knelt down and kept his head in his palms on the floor. Then he began to whisper "innah Lilah waina ilaehi rajihun" every second.

Till he began to scream"innah Lilah!!!!!!". Suddenly he took his keys and dashed out. He was almost at the door when I blocked his way. As I realised he wasn't in the right mental state to drive,but how will I convince him to give me the keys and trust my driving skills". He gave me a cold glare that nearly sent me to an early grave as I understood everything the glare meant. "GET THE JAHANAAM OUT OF MY WAY!!!".  So immediately I went to  the sitting room to take my car key as I ran outside to stop him from driving himself. Surprisingly he obliged and followed me into my car. I told him to please call my mom to stay with the kids while we go and confirm the news. After about an hour drive, we got to the place and we saw the body of my sister in law tightly wrapped in a white cloth. I guess they have done her janazah. He stood rooted to his spot as he couldn't believe the news so I pulled him closer and pulled the cloth off her pale face.. "subhanallah!! Innah Lilah waina ilaehi rajihun!!!! She's the one! She's truly gone!!!" He then told some men to carry her body to where she'll be prayed on before coveying her body to the Muslim cemetery. After the prayer, her body was carried and lowered into the grave after which she was covered up and everyone left for their house. Immediately we got home,he walked too fast and locked himself inside his room. Only his shouts could be heard and cries. I tried to force my way in but my fragile figure couldn't even push a thing not to talk of forcing the door to open. I then sat at the entrance and spoke to him.

"Mohammed,I hope you know I understand your pain as I've lost my father too. I understand how it feels to lose a loved one. But i want you to know Allah will never give a burden without an ease. He has his ways and reasons for everything he does. He sees everyone and everything. If we cry from today till tomorrow the dead is gone and is never coming back. I want you to accept this as one of Allah's trials. He has promised us all of trials to test our level of eeman in this religion. Please do not let this ruin you or consume you. Let me in and let me help you to heal. The only thing Mrs Bashirah Jiddah needs now is our prayer for Allah to widen and illuminate her grave. And may HE forgive her of her shortcomings as she's in a helpless situation and her case has no remedy. We should be grateful Allah has given us a second chance to change our ways and do the needful. She's gone and can't seek help or assistance as she's left with her good deeds and deen to help her in her grave. Murphy please take it easy on yourself. Remember we are your responsibility,please my love. Please let this go".

And slowly he opened the door and I was let in to feel his pain. He cried till his eyes were swollen and he began to complain of a terrible headache. I brought him paracetamol to use and placed his hot head on my lap while using a wet towel to regulate his temperature. In the course of this,he slept and I placed him properly on the bed and covered him up while I went to perform ablution to pray some nawafil. After the 2 rakkats prayer,I began to recite the Qur'an in order to ease the pain I was feeling also. I also recited till I began to feel sleepy after which I climbed up the bed and cuddled up with my habibi. Even in his sleep,he held me so close and tight to his chest as if afraid I was also going to leave him. I smiled in my sleep and said my a few prayers before succumbing to a deep slumber.

Suddenly I stirred up from the deep slumber only to realise it was already 4:50pm meaning it was time for asr so I immediate woke Mohammad up to pray and we prayed together. After which I began to prepare dinner as we are out of stew. Thanks to Allah there was still some grounded pepper and fried excess meat inside the freezer. So that should do for few days to come.

After which I prepared rice and beans for dinner. Murphy only had few spoonfuls before he stood up as he didn't have appetite.

Asalamualaikum waramatullah wabarakatuh dear readers. I'm so sorry for the late update. It's really exhausting typing on a phone. It's not easy but your beautiful comments and votes keeps me going and walking like a queen. Jazakhallah khairan everyone. I really appreciate it... See you in the next update in Shaa Allah💕💕💕