Zainab's Little Secret

Chapter 17 *Life goes on*

*****Zainab's POV
Baba has been finally laid to rest and now as expected people were trooping in and saying all sort of nice things about baba..Well that's true to an extent at least he loved helping people in every possible way he could..It was just surprising how situations could change in a twinkle of an eye..Indeed Allah is the greatest...Hmmmm was all I could do..The house felt empty without him,who can ever replace my baba,no one on earth can!!. Every time I see his picture or remember memories of him,all I can do is to cry and pray for him..Today is Baba's first day in the grave hmmmm!!!..May Almighty Allah forgive his sins...

After the whole burial,I searched for Muhammad but he was no where to be found. I wanted to apologise and tell him I was sorry for yelling at him..After all the visitors have left,I went to check on mom and realised she was deeply asleep as we had to force her to use her drugs - a sedative I think and then I checked on Sadiq and Humaimah well thank God they also used the drug..Well now I guess I was the only one around and I was lost in thought..

*****A quick flash of the kiss******

Audhubillah!!! What am I even thinking? Are you stupid?? But then I smiled again..It seems I've had too much thoughts in my head..I then decided to pray for my father instead so as Allah may ease our affairs..After some hours I stood up to revise my note as I have an exam the following day..I read everything possible and slowly I drifted off to sleep...

*** Suddenly baba appeared from nowhere and was staring at me lovingly while I was asleep,he then gave me a forehead kiss and said I love you Zainab, but please remember to remain chaste till you are of marriageable age ok?,no matter how much a guy claims to love you, DO NOT BE FORCED TO COMMIT ZINA!!! ,Zainab please do not forget..Do not worry I am fine where I am,but please take good care of yourself Zainab, pleaseeeeeeeeeeee!!!, promise me you will remain a Virgin till you get married and lest I forget take good care of your siblings ok?,DO NOT TRUST MEN TOO MUCH,BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE SWEET TONGUES TO DECEIVE GIRLS LIKE YOU!!, DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR BACKGROUND OR TEACHINGS,DO NOT BE INFLUENCED AGAINST YOUR WISH AND LASTLY HOLD ON VERY TIGHT TO YOUR DEEN,NO MATTER HOW WEAK YOU MAY BECOME,NEVER LET GO!! EVEN AT THE POINT OF DEATH! DO NOT LET GO!!! and pufffff!! He vanished into the thin air******

I suddenly woke up and realised it was all a dream,I saw baba in my dreams giving me warnings but he was keen on my virginity and my deen..Allah Akhbar I said as tears of sadness was falling.." I swear I really miss you baba, I miss your smile,scoldings,your nagging attitude everything that has to do with you Baba ,baba please come back, pleaseeeeeeeeeeee!! I can't take this anymore,I can't just find a place in my heart to believe you are gone baba!!!.."

I realised that time was far gone and I have to quickly prepare for school,I then had my bath,packed my hair,wore my neatly ironed uniform and then applied lip gloss as it was harmattan season already..I then went to the dining only to find mom preparing our breakfast of bread and tea,immediately she saw me,she began to cry and held me close to her chest and after some minutes she let go and gave me some bread and tea to eat for breakfast.. She then boarded a taxi with me and prayed for me before leaving.. Immediately I got to school everyone was staring at me and giving me the pitiful look  and I knew right there that the news must have been all over the school..After a while it was time for assembly and the principal addressed us concerning our attitude and all but then she said  I'm sorry to inform you that one of our students lost her father yesterday and I hope we can honour him with a  minute silence ok?.. After a minute everyone was staring at me and after sometime the assembly was over...ha what a relief!!!..

Some hours after we were assembled in the hall and told to keep quiet while our exam question was been shared ,immediately I saw my question,I began to cry because it states how does a man die..Explain the process of death.. All I could remember was my dad,his heavy breathing,his restlessness and lastly his silence ,at least that gave me an insight on what to write and after a while I was through with the question,alot of people were calling me to please help them with the answers and to give them a hint on what to write because they knew how much I love biology....After 3 whole hours of thinking and writing we were finally through with the exam..Immediately we stepped out I saw many of my mates,breaking their pen and pencils,jumping up and down,congratulating each other ,hugging,I wanted to join but I just couldn't because I just didn't feel happy even though I was happy that I'm through with my exam...I was set to leave the school as I have already told the principal the situation before a voice called out to me ...