Help Me Pick Up The Pieces {Completed} (GirlXGirl) [TeacherXStudent]

Chapter 69

Chapter 69
Mia's POV

Have you ever felt like your entire world, everything you ever knew and loved, was crashing down around you?

Have you ever had your heart ripped out of your chest and smashed into a million pieces? Do you know what it feels like to have those pieces be put back together and once you finally feel whole again something else comes along and shatters it all over?

How is it possible for a broken heart to keep beating?

The answer is simple, it can't. When a heart is too badly damaged, when it is simply beyond repair, it just stops.

The sound of a beating heart is a comforting thing, it's a sign of life. Sometimes our hearts beat a little too fast, but hearing the steady pace of someone else's heart can bring peace to our own. Sometimes the beating in our heart may even start to match their's.

However, the second you hear the beating of their heart stop, the entire world goes black and everything gets really quiet. When the heart stops so does everything else, it all just washes away. The world becomes dark and cold and you just feel numb.

That numbness you feel, that's the best part. It's what you feel for that one second when you are still holding your breath. It's what you feel right before reality hits, before you fully realize what's just happened; before you realize all hope is gone.

I wish, I really wish I could go back to that one second where everything is dark and cold and where you just feel numb. I wish I could go back and live in that second forever because once that second passes and reality sets in, that's when the true pain begins. The kind of pain that you will live with forever.

When the heart stops beating a life has ended. That life is gone. The person that heart belonged to no longer exists and you will never hear the beating of their heart again.

In that next second, the second where the numbness passes and the pain begins, you lose a piece of your own heart. What's inevitably left behind is a hole that can never be filled and a pain that will never truly go away.

I want so badly to go back to that first second, to feel numb again. There is no escaping my new reality, it's not possible, but I just wish I didn't have to feel the pain that comes with it.

I want to be numb.

I would do anything to escape this pain for even a second, even if it meant I may be in more pain down the road. Right now, the pain is just too great, I so desperately want to escape it even if it's only just for a second. I want to escape it before it consumes me.

This pain is so bad that I'm considering something that just might end up hurting my heart more, but if it means that even for a second that I can escape the pain I feel right now, then it's worth it.

I need that second, I need it right now more than anything. That desperate need for one second of relief is why I press the dial button on my phone before bringing it to my ear and holding my breath as it rings.

"Hello?" I hear her say when the call connects. The second I hear her voice I close my eyes as I start breathing again and the pain in my chest starts to lessen. "Is anyone there?" she asks but I don't respond because I just want this second to last as long as possible. I don't want it to end. "Mia, is that you?" she asks and I silently bite my lip.