Help Me Pick Up The Pieces {Completed} (GirlXGirl) [TeacherXStudent]

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Avery's POV

"I really wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know. Why can't you see that I care about you and want to help you? What is it going to take for you to believe me? I honestly hate seeing you like this; seeing you hurting like this breaks my heart," she says while gently touching my cheek and I almost instantly pull away.

My face drops when I see the look in her eyes. I truly want to believe everything she's saying is true, but I can't; I won't. She honestly doesn't understand what she's asking for; if just seeing me like this can hurt her like she claims, then I can't even imagine how much it'll hurt her if she knew why.

What she said to me yesterday caused me to just snap. The way she said that I looked broken and that I appeared to be crying out for help, for some reason caused me to have a complete breakdown. The second she said it, things that I've been constantly trying to suppress for years floated to the surface.

The memories that came back to me had practically immobilized me. Every now and then a few of those memories briefly cross my mind, but I quickly push them away. I know that if I were to give into them that I would completely disintegrate, and that's exactly what happened yesterday. When she said what she did, every single one of those memories came flooding back at me so fast that it made it impossible to push them back down.

This isn't the first time this has happened. Every once in a while something will get to me and cause me to shut down and send me into a pit of darkness, but now it's worse than it used to be. This time I felt like I was falling into a never ending abyss, because now I no longer have Adrianna to drag me back out.

Eventually a brief ray of reality is able to shine through the darkness and I can find my way out again on my own, but there is no telling how long that could take. Adrianna had always been faster at finding me than I was. Sometimes it took a little longer to bring me back than others, but she never failed; she would always find me, but now she isn't even here to look. She was like a light in my life, and when she left it, everything became considerably darker.

Mia may think she wants to know what's happening with me, but I know she can't handle it, and I have no idea why she thinks she can. What she wants to know would only be an extreme burden for her and I refuse to put her in that position. Knowing would only hurt her, and I really can't do that to her.

"Trust me when I say you really don't want to know. Everybody says they do, that they care; that they just want to help, and the second that you believe them and tell them what they want to know, you instantly regret it. You regret it because you can see that they will never look at you the same way again. You can see that they regret asking, that they regret ever meeting you to begin with, because what you tell them not only hurts them, but also ends up being a burden to them. So I'm not going to tell you and I want you to please stop asking," I finish and I can feel the tears freely streaming down my face now.

She doesn't say anything for a while; all she does is just sit there, staring at me with a pained look on her face.

"You think that I would ever do that to you? That I could ever regret meeting you?" she whispers, looking deep into my eyes.

"Yes," my voice cracks, betraying me once again. "That's what everybody else does," I finish and I feel more tears escape my eyes despite trying my best to keep them in.

"Well I wouldn't!" she says, seeming so sure of herself.

"How am I supposed to believe you?"

"Because I really do care about you. Anybody who could do that to you never truly cared to begin with, but I swear that I do. I honestly truly care about you, and I just want you to be happy," she says wiping away my tears. She puts her hand on my cheek again, but this time I don't pull away.