Love is Love (Larry Stylinson FanFic)

Chapter 24

Niall’s POV

I continued to empty the contents of my stomach into Stan’s toilet. My insides were burning. My throat was stinging and my heart was aching. I heard footsteps tread lightly behind me but I didn’t have the energy to turn away from the toilet and I knew the moment I turned away would be the moment that the sickening feeling would come back. I knew it was Stan behind me and usually I would ask any person to leave me alone when I’m in this kind of state but I’d given up. He sat on the floor next to me, rubbing my back as I wept into the filthy toilet bowl.

“Here, take this.” Stan said. He took my hand and placed a cold glass of water in my palm. I shakily grasped the cold glass and put it to my lips. As a slither of the water trickled down my throat the bile that still remained in my stomach forced its way out of my throat. I dropped the glass and buried my head in the toilet once again. This just only made me cry more. Had I been affected by Louis’ words this much? Was it the realisation that I didn’t have my friends or career anymore? Whatever it is was making my life a nightmare.

“Ni, come on buddy.” Stan said whilst rubbing my back. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

I wiped my mouth with the edge of my sleeve and turned to look at Stan. Everything about his facial expression read concerned. With a shaky breath I began to tell Stan what happened.

“I-I tr-tr-tried t-to c-call-

“Hey, come on Niall. You’re a strong guy. I can’t understand you when you’re crying.” Stan said giving me a sympathetic but encouraging smile. Too bad I could stop crying. “Come here.” Stan wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me closer to him. He made soft shushing noises as if I was a child and surprisingly it calmed me. My crying had eased and all that was left was the pounding sensation in my head.

“Do you want to tell me what happened now?” Stan asked.

I nodded. “I tried to call Harry but Louis picked up…” I went through all the things Louis all the while struggling to force the vomit back down my throat. “…and now I think Harry hates me and I can never go back there again. Louis’ right I might as well just die. No one wants me. No one has ever wanted me.”

“Niall, don’t say that-

“Don’t tell me what I can’t say! I want to fucking die Stan!” I cried. I got up and ran into the living room, Stan quickly ran after me, I made my way to the kitchen and fumbled around in some of the drawers. When I got to the one I was looking for I pulled out a bulky Chef’s knife.

“Niall stop!” Stan ordered. Fear, panic and genuine sadness were shown just by the look on his face. “Niall, you don’t have to do this. It doesn’t matter what Louis says he’s just being bitchy. You have other people who care. I care.”

“You don’t care!” I screamed. I suspended the knife over my wrist and Stan’s eyes widened. Without further hesitation I brought the blade down across my wrist. I felt the knife slice through my supple skin. Like a crimson waterfall the blood gushed from my self-inflicted wound. I heard Stan gasp at the blood that was now dripping onto his clean kitchen floor. I looked from my wrist to Stan and then back to my wrist and before I knew it the knife was hurtling to the floor and Stan was sprinting to catch my collapsing body.

                                                                       ****

I awoke with the tender feel of fingers running through my hair. I opened my eyes wearily to see Stan sitting next to me in a bed. He smiled when I opened my eyes.

“You alright?” He asked. My head was pounding.

“What happened? Where am I?” I said. I didn’t recognise this room before.