39: out of the easy

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I clenched my fists in anger before ripping apart the useless trash in my hands

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I clenched my fists in anger before ripping apart the useless trash in my hands. A growl tore from my throat as I tossed it into the trash, my eyes flickering down to my phone again. My wolf whimpered painfully, the pain that came along with caring for someone. My heart clenched with the empty feeling of loneliness. Without her, with the hope of seeing her again.

I sat back in my chair, fighting the urge to pick up my phone. Fighting the urge to click on Veda's and Corbyn's numbers, to hear her sweet voice. Despite how much I craved to to be next to her, to be near her untainted innocence, I couldn't. She needed time to find her mother and I promised I would give her that no matter how much the cost.

It never mattered to me what people thought of me, how uncaring and vile I was, I've heard it all but for Aurelia, I found myself suddenly caring. I'd been accustomed from a young pubescent boy that all humans were sick weak creatures, they only had darkness in them, only capable of hurting others, but it was only in Aurelia that I saw something different. She was good, innocent, she didn't have that darkness. She had a bright light within her, one that I found myself attracted to, darkness to light.

For once it mattered to me, she mattered to me. The dark secrets I hid over the years was only one of the barriers between us. It was unrealistic for a monster like me to ever earn the affections of an innocent beauty as her. That's why I hoped she would go on this trip with Corbyn and Veda so I could finally find the face of Johnathon once and for all and end him. I wanted to protect Aurelia from the darkness that the world offered, I wanted her to have no part of the brothel where low lives touched her untainted body. The first time I realized she was really innocent, I realized I couldn't hurt her. It took so much restraint to not ravish her delicious blood, her perfectly sweet and ravishing aroma made my gums ache, my fangs throbbed at the thought of tasting her. But Despite how much I craved her in ways I never known, I couldn't hurt her. I didn't want to frighten her.

I couldn't take it anymore, my hands inched for my phone, closer as I finally held it in my hands, the black screen lighting up, calling out to me to call her. To hear her soft voice tell me sweet nothings about her day. To hear her melodic laugh.

"Don't do it."

Evelyn stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, her brows arched and eyes squinted.

"What?" I looked at her innocently.


"Don't even think about it. You know she'll call you if anything goes wrong," she says, I look at her appalled and sighed.


"What if something is wrong?" I ask worriedly, clenching the phone in my hand as the thought trailed through my mind.


She frowns, walking into the room. "My boy, worry does not get you anywhere but it messes with your head. It takes away your peace." She shrugs. "Besides, Corbyn and Veda have her." Evelyn was upfront, there was no sugar coating with her.

As much as I hated it, she was right. Calling her would just make me seem like I don't trust her or any of them and I didn't want to come off that way. I knew the second I asked, I could trust Corbyn and Veda to protect her with their life. My wolf's cries made me cringe, he was on edge, wanting her near as well. "My wolf wants her near. I don't understand but he's always been so fond of her."

Evelyn's eyes widen with surprise, probably due to me admitting that aloud. "Then the other... monster of me wants other things," I admit, my blood growing cold at the thought of just how dangerous the monster inside me clawed around, fighting to take control. I've had my monsters in control for years but around her, my control was slowly piece by piece faltering.


"But you won't. You want to protect her, you and your wolf. She's good for you, you know," Evelyn says, smiling knowingly. "She's loyal, kind, and selfless. Something that you need," she says, her brown eyes serious.

"Everything opposite of me." I say, my voice growing quiet.

"You need to start believing that nothing is too good for you."

"That's the problem Evelyn. She's too good for me and I'll only end up hurting her," I say. I didn't deserve her, I had always known that.

Evelyn frowns. "Now Eli, you know you don't believe that." I glance up at her nickname, the only time she'd call me that is when she would scold or reprimand me. "If you truly love someone, when you love someone, even if there's a million reasons to leave, you would still look for one reason to stay."

"I'm not saying I am leaving, I just need to- wait," I freeze, my eyes flickering to her amused ones. She grinned ear to ear.

"I don't lo-" I pause, stopping myself from saying the next words. Evelyn didn't say a word but walked out of the room, leaving me alone to think once again about the confusing feelings I felt.


Did I? No. Could I?

For many years I had spent my life simply surviving, killing but she was like fresh breath of air. It felt like when I seen her, I started living again, my cold heart started to beat again. It felt too natural, as much time as it took for me to realize, I was already falling hard for the human girl. I adored the flush pink on her cheeks when I embarrassed her, her beautiful chocolate covered eyes, that shined with a light so bright. Her sweet soul and scent, this feeling inside of me felt so unreal, an angel could never be with a beast. My heart clenched painfully as I realized she could never feel for me, she never should. She was too good for me, too pure that I would rather rip my own heart out than hurt her.

I had vowed to ansure the beautiful innocent happiness would return and remain in her eyes and taking her for myself would diminish that light. I couldn't do that to her, I promised myself. Perhaps I could give her that, happiness and she would stay with me and I could stay with her.

I ran a hand through my disheveled hair, unintentionally making it more messy. I exhaled deeply, putting down the phone.

Oh my god, I was in love with her.




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A:N//

All of your sweet comments get me emotional, truly.

I am so ready to finish this story, i'm not but I am excited for it to end because you guys are just going to love it, I hope you do because we're getting close to some good ooey gooey details ;)

Love you all, now I must sleep. Lmao.

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