The Secretary

No Women Allowed

It was dark and her mind felt fuzzy. And she felt hot. Y/N slowly opened her eyes and looked down to see Cindi's head resting on her chest, her own steadily rising and falling. Y/N smiled slightly and reached up with her good arm to gently stroke her sister's hair. Then she sighed as memories of the events of the past couple days came flooding back.

"What did I get us into." She murmured to herself. "And how do I get us out?" They would definitely be leaving Korea, that was certain. She could spend this time looking for jobs in other countries. She wanted to stay in Asia, it would make the plane tickets cheaper.

What did she do about her bosses? She was angry at them, at the whole situation. But now that she was calmer she could see things from their point of view. And she hated it. Yes, they were the mafia. At the same time though, they behaved like no other mafia gang she'd ever heard of. They'd frickin' destroyed a rival gang for kidnapping her. She couldn't stay but....

Maybe it was okay to leave on good terms?

And Yoongi...

She swallowed hard. She'd felt so betrayed when he hung up. She didn't trust easily but she'd opened up to him a little bit. Now she knew why he'd done it. But that pain still stung a little. Maybe with time it'd go away. He'd stuck around. He'd stayed by her bedside while she was knocked out. Evidently he did place some value on their friendship.

But it didn't matter. It didn't matter if they were the nicest people in the world. It didn't matter if they protected her with everything they had. It was too dangerous to be around them. And...they weren't. The nicest people in the world. Jin had had an opportunity to open up, allow her to know what she'd gotten into, and he'd kept her in ignorance. He'd tied one hand behind her back as she tried to make informed decisions. No matter what, they needed to leave.

It was hard and she groaned a little but she managed to wiggle out from underneath Cindi and get to her feet, holding onto the bed while her head spun and readjusted. She was hungry. She needed a shower. And pain meds.

Downstairs both Namjoon and Yoongi were in the living room. Yoongi was fast asleep and Namjoon had his feet propped up on the coffee table, supporting a laptop. He gave her a small smile and motioned to Yoongi.

"Cindi kicked him out of your room last night. He figured you'd be hungry so he decided to wait here." Y/N said nothing, just walked by them. There was nothing to say.

In the kitchen there wasn't much so Y/N grunted and reached up into the cupboard to grab a box of cereal and pour herself a bowl. The cupboard above her head was pushed closed and she looked up startled into the face of her...friend?

"Sorry. I was going for cool, not making you jump." He smiled softly, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Is that all you want?" He motioned at her bowl. "I can make you something." She shook her head and walked to the island, using her good arm to help her up. There was the scrape of a stool and Yoongi sat next to her. Silence reigned in the kitchen as she slowly ate, struggling since her dominant hand had been broken. "Are you giving me the silent treatment?" He finally asked quietly. Usually she was so straightforward. If he pissed her off he knew. This....this...silence....it was unnerving. Not her. She shook her head.

"No." She said just as quiet.

"Then what?" She finished her bowl of cereal and pushed it away from her before replying.

"What's the point?" Yoongi's brow furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not staying. As soon as you take care of her, I'm getting the kids out of here. I'm not going to stick around and put them in danger. I'm not going to stay in contact, I doubt knowing an assassin is good for my health." Yoongi swallowed as he heard her words, his fingernail absently picking at a scratch on the counter. He could see her point. He knew she was right. She had responsibilities to her family before them. But still...he was proud of his reputation. He had worked hard to earn it. Sometimes though...sometimes he just wanted to be seen for himself. Who was he? He didn't know. No one tried to find out. With his brothers he was a mafia man. Everyone else just saw him as a part of that, and they all wanted it for different reasons. Except Y/N. She saw it and wanted no part of it. Jin was right.

He didn't realize he'd spoken that last sentence out loud.

"What?" He shook himself. This wasn't the time to wallow in self-pity. He'd made his choices. He was proud of his work.

"Jin...." He sighed. "Jin doesn't let women join our gang."

"So why am I here?"

"Technically you're not a part of the gang, you're a respectable cover. Women aren't allowed to get involved in our operations." Despite herself Y/N was curious.

"Why?" Yoongi laughed but it sounded hollow, even to him.

"Because there are only two types of women in the world. The ones who want this life are crazy and nuts and unstable and we stay away from them. The sane ones, the good ones..." He glanced over at Y/N. "They leave. They run as far away as possible. Because they're smart." Y/N bit her lip at his words and unspoken message.

"I guess it's nice to know I'm intelligent." She mumbled and Yoongi smiled a little. "So..." She couldn't help her curiosity. "What happened to make Jin put that rule in place?" Yoongi noted the smooth use of Jin's first name, instead of his last.

"Me." He admitted.

"Kristy?" His eyebrows lifted.

"Someone told you?" Y/N scoffed.

"No, I'm just not an idiot. Thought we established this." He sighed and leaned forward on the island, resting on his elbows.

"When I first got involved in this life...I was young and a little more....reckless. And I liked women. I still do. I thought..." He smiled ruefully. "I thought I could find someone who would accept my line of work, accept me. Kristy was beautiful and knew all the right buttons to push."

"But she wasn't what she seemed." Yoongi nodded.

"She's power hungry. She started doing stupid things and threatening people with me if they didn't cooperate. Obviously this reflected on Bangtan. She tried to have me killed when I broke up with her. She wasn't really that much of a threat to me or our operation but...I tried out one of Taehyung's women and a couple days later the woman was dead. I caught the guy she sent, I killed him. But Kristy is really obsessive."

"Why haven't you offed her?" Y/N suspected she knew the answer but she wanted to hear it from him. Yoongi sighed.

"I...I really did love her. And realizing she was just using me...that her "love" is just some twisted obsession....was very hurtful. She did a number on me mentally. It hasn't been until recently that I've felt I could physically do it. And no one else will touch her because it's my right."

"I see."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm not interested in you romantically. I guess she's been so quiet I got careless, I thought she'd at least know me well enough to know I can't trust anyone like that again. But she's....well she's the reason Jin doesn't want women in our ranks." Y/N was very quiet and as the silence stretched out he lowered his head to try and get a peek at her face. He couldn't read the expression there and reached out with two fingers to prop her chin up a little so he could look better.

"What's wrong? What'd I say?" Y/N swallowed. Her mind was reeling. She....believed every word he'd said. She knew he wasn't lying.

"It's just....you don't want me romantically..." Yoongi misunderstood and dropped his hand, looking away.

"Yeah, I'm sorry if that makes you feel insecure or something. You are an attractive woman, it's just....me." His lips thinned as he reflected on everything he'd just said in the past couple of minutes. He hadn't expected it to offend her.

"I know...I....believe you...." She sounded very surprised and Yoongi blinked.

"You believe me?"

"Yeah." Y/N smiled a little. "I actually believe I've met a guy who just wants to be friendly with me and nothing more." Yoongi took a second to readjust his thoughts, realizing how monumental an event that was for her.  Y/N's smile turned sad. "Who would've thought I'd find him in a criminal madhouse." Yoongi frowned but slowly slipped a hand around her shoulders and pulled her into him. A friendly hug. Nothing more.

"We're not a madhouse." He whispered into her ear.

They were interrupted by a coughing sound behind them. Yoongi knew who the cough belonged to but he took his time letting go. He wasn't doing anything wrong, let others think what they wanted to.