The MCU And You

Peace and Serenity (Bucky X Reader) 20k+ Special*

Here a request by GayBoiReads hope you like it.

"Be still"
"Hold him down NOW"
"We own you"
"Control you"
"You're alive because we let you be"
"Without us your worthless"
"You belong to us"
"I've seen shit worth more than you"
"This is the only thing you're good for"

Jumping up with a gasp Y/N looked around frantically and and curled into himself. Crying for what felt like hours he remembered everything they did to him the torture, the experiments, the pain, the abuse not just emotional, but also physical and sexual and no matter what he did he could never forget. He could never forget his own screams and begging but what affected him the most was the people they made him kill their blood would always be on his hands, their faces forever burned into his mind, their begging last words always ringing in his ears. And the one place he thought he could escape for just a bit was where the memories were so vivid. After calming down he looked at his clock the bright red letters read 3:17 AM. With a sigh he got out the bed and started a trip to the kitchen. As he pressed the elevator button he thought about how his life had changed over the past couple of months. When he was with those people the only person nice to him Bucky. And he thinks that's why developed a crush on him but he would never say anything because when Bucky could remember thing he would talk about his friend Steve and how was Y/N gonna compete with Captain America. But anyways when they rescued Bucky he was happy for him, happy he got to be free but sad for himself because now he didn't have Bucky to hold him while he cried or to tell him stories to keep him distracted from the pain. As he promised him a long time ago though Bucky came back for him and he couldn't have been more happier that was the first promise anyone had ever made him and kept true to it. He was also thankful for the avengers they didn't know him but they let him stay in their home anyway and they trusted him all because Bucky asked them to. As the elevator opened he continued to the kitchen and got a cup. And as he turned on the faucet the water hypnotized him became sometimes he wished he could do his past like that just send them down the drain and never see them again, but he can't. After snapping back into reality he put his cup under the faucet filling it with water then turned it off. He slowly drank he water then placing his empty cup in the sink he sighed a he headed back to his room he after getting out the elevator and walking a bit he stopped in the middle of the hallway knowing Bucky was there.

"We both know I know you're there" Y/N said softly. Bucky let out a soft laugh as he walked closer. Y/N turned around to face him.

"What's the matter" Bucky asked as face turned to one of concern once he seen Y/N red eyes.

"Nothing" He said lowly looking away from Bucky. Bucky let out a small sigh.

"You know I still get them too" Bucky said as he brought Y/N in for a hug. The younger male sighed into Bucky's shoulder. He missed this being with Bucky always made thing seem better and easier to deal with. 

"It's okay remember your with me now I promised to keep you safe and I intend to keep that promise" Bucky said as he continued to hold him. In that moment Y/N realized that he was hyperventilating and crying so his grip on Bucky's shirt tightened. Bucky started to slowly rock them.

"Shhhh shhhh shhh I've got you doll" Bucky said and Y/N blushed at the nickname as he softly nodded his head.

"Can you tell me where you are right now" Bucky asked calmly as he grabbed Y/N's face. Y/N's breath started to calm down.

"I....I... I'm in A-america wiith you and the avengers in their tow-w-er" Y/N stutter out as he tried to calm down. Bucky gave a small smile.

"That's right and we're very far from them we got away from them didn't we" Bucky asked and Y/N nodded his head. Bucky grabbed his hand and placed it on his shirted chest.

"Focus on my breathing and match it okay can you do that for me" Bucky asked and Y/N nodded as he closed his eyes and after a minute he was done with his mini freak out. He opened his eyes and looked at Bucky, who still held Y/N's hand on his chest

"Can.... can I- nevermi-" Y/N stumbled over his words embarrassed. Bucky chuckled.

"Nothing to be embarrassed by of course you can come on doll" Bucky said as he held Y/N's wrist and led him to his room. Once inside they both got in the bed.

"Come 'ere" Bucky said lowly as he reached for Y/N. Shuffling until they were comfortably tangled into each other. Y/N had his head on Bucky's chest listening to the low rhythm beat his heart gave and Bucky was rubbing patterns on Y/N's side. They laid like that as sleep came over them and for the first time in awhile they both had sleep full of peace and serenity.