Perfect SCARS

15

From the beginning of today. I know it was going to be a bad day.... I knelt close to my bed and stare at the blood stain

Am at it again.... I should have noticed my consistent urge to drink cold water and sweet things.... Even my lower abdomen tried to give me sign but i choose to ignore it..

My panties are heavily soaked..sanitary pads are always available in the first aid room  but where's the first aid room here even if there is how am I going to find sanitary pads there  What will I do now

I can't just go and meet him and say..
Good morning sir... Pls I need sanitary pads.. It wouldn't make sense.. Besides I would be too ashamed to blab that out in front of him...

My clothes were heavily soaked too.. I didn't even think that this would be happening I mean I have been here for over three weeks it is bound to happen anyway

I can't step out of the room and to get to  the bathroom i have to reach the living room.. This is one of the many disadvantages of living in this kind of condition

I waited until I was sure he wouldn't be there .. I ran into the bathroom and  clean up took several rolls of toilet paper and place properly on my clean pant before wearing it...

I packed my dirty clothes and took them to the washroom... I washed all my clothes and I was left with just a singlet and a very tiny short... Really tiny because I collected it from a friend of mine who is shorter than me

I couldn't even sun dry the clothes before now I usually don't pile clothes but have been feeling really lazy lately .. And now since the clothes I slept in were already soaked i have to wash my bedspread too

After Washing I cooked myself an heavy meal  because of my period i tend to eat alot..

Since I couldn't sundry the clothes I piled them in a bucket to ask mr Philips.where to dry them... I know I can't dry wet clothes inside. I had to refix the padded tissues to be sure I wasn't soaking the only pair of clean clothes that I have

I don't owe a lot of clothes and now It affecting me seriously.... Maybe I should tell Mr Philips to help me with some clothes... I have always loved dressing up and looking good I was just never fortunate to enjoy that privilege..

Until now I could easily say I  have many problem with staying here but now I know am adjusting and Mr Philips isn't usually his  grumpy self so I can survive...

I had a severe menstrual pain in the afternoon probably because of all the junks and rubbish I have been eating.. Now my stomach is having a tornado and cried out in pain

It was so bad I thought I was going to die I couldn't move or stand.... I was so sick I don't even know what to do about it if it was in the Foster care I would have been sent to Nurse Ann she would have given me an injection dose and I would be fine besides I rarely have this kind of pain... Even the fear of injection kicks the pain away instantly but today I would gladly receive as many injections possible to take this pain away

I don't know when I fell asleep but it should be around seven I was still watching a show when my eyes Shut

I woke up to grunting noise.... Although I didn't open my eyes but I could feel the hard breath against my skin and it smelled of menthol... I stayed still notifying myself that I had mistakenly slept on the sofa in the living room..

I would have stood immediately if I didn't feel something moving around my legs
.
It crawled up slowly from my knees up my thighs.. Gently rubbing it before massaging it

I wanted to scream but it was so soothing I decided against it... I stayed still and let the hand move up and down my thighs... Then it became two hands   two huge hands rubbing and caressing my body and the annoying part is am enjoying it

Then it stopped and I  almost screamrd that I don't want it to stop

I joined my legs together to try and suppress this feeling of wanting to be touched

Almost immediately the huge hands were back again seperating my legs from touching eachother Then his finger slid down my inner area and I screamed .  but before the scream was heard the hand couldn't even get far because of the padded area...

I jumped up waking myself from the stupid thing I just did.. How can I just allow some one to touch me in those places like that..

When I opened my eyes.. All I heard was running up the stairs. I didn't see his face but I would be lying if I say I don't know who it was...

I may not have seen him face to face but I know it was him
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I recalled what just happened