Perfect SCARS

106

There was so much blood.... Too much
I almost choked at the sight of them but am more concerned about the man laying on the floor

I knelt beside him,
Trembling, sweating and crying furiously....
What have I done, what do I do
How do I wake him.. Why is there so much blood 

A girl was screaming for help and people begun to surround us...
I held his hand in mine and call his name repeatedly... When he didn't answer... I pressed my hold tightly and squeeze harder

"No... No Philip.. You can do this to me "

I screamed and place two of my fingers on his windpipe below his jawbone to check for pulse.. I couldn't even tell what I was feeling. My whole body is in shock and  I can't  think straight..... I was shaking and can't keep my hand in place

I shook his shoulder and place my head on his chest...
Very faint but I could hear it beat slowly... Like two beats a minute.. I was so scared
His eyes are closed and he is not moving

A man moved closer to us and knelt on his other side and raised his head up slowly.... Check his wrist for pulse
Oh God...
Too much blood...

"We need something to stop the bleeding.... Can we get a piece of clothes or something "

The people surrounding starting throwing in scarf, tie, shirt, towel and whatever they could find...
The man picked one of the thick clothing and wrap, turn Philip a little to the side and place the cloth on the top of his back and held it tightly

"How far is the ambulance... He is losing too much blood "

"They are almost here " another man answered

The blood quickly soaked the sweater he used and then he placed a towel on it and soon we heard the siren grew closer
Oh please hurry
Then a group of men hurried towards us with a stretcher and carried him with them...

I looked down at the spot he was picked up from and his image flash back on my mind...
Blood everywhere
I placed both hands on my laps and bow my head and cry even harder

"Miss..... Miss"
Someone place their hand on my shoulder
I turned around slowly and look up to see the man from before

"Miss would you like to follow him to the hospital "

"Yes... ". I stood up immediately "of course "
I ran towards the ambulance jump inside as the vehicle begins to speed off
The medical officers were trying stop the bleeding but I just watch as he led lifelessly on the tiny bed

Lord... Please let this all be nothing but a bad dream
Please I will just close my eyes now and wake in my apartment
I never stepped out of the house today
I didn't drive my car down here
I didn't see Philip at all
And most of all I didn't push him down the roof

I close my eyes tightly and hope that all these is nothing but a nightmare
I have had several dreams where I assumed I have ran Philip over with my car or stab him with a fork in the eye or that I injested him with something toxic

In my head I have killed Philip more than a thousand times... I hope this is one of those nights, one of those harmless nightmares....

I opened my eyes slowly and it came out blur at first but then I saw the doctor placing two paddles on his bare chest and screaming.... "Clear"
I looked at the machine and every time they apply shock on him I get electrocuted

Oh No.... Its not a dream
This is really happening
I placed one hand on my forehead and the other on my mouth to suppress the outburst that was coming down my throat......

The vehicle pulled over and immediately the door opened followed by another wheeled  stretcher and he was moved out of the ambulance quickly... As they wheeled the stretcher into the hospital I hurried beside it placing my hand on his leg and running alongside

This is a disaster.........
I hope nothing happens to him
I don't think I can survive if anything bad happens to Philip...

They moved into the ICU ward and I was stopped from trailing behind, I paced around the lobby nervously

My hands, arm, clothes, face were all covered in blood...... My heart was beating so fast I think I will pass out
Every time I remember how lifeless he laid on the beach some minutes ago.. It scared the living daylight out of me

I almost killed him
What am I saying.... He could be dead Already  he wasn't responding to the shock impulse in the ambulance and he has lost so much blood

I felt my legs give way... As I slowly crawled to the ground with my back against the wall. I cried even more.. I don't care if anyone was looking at me. Or if there's was no one for me
I cried harder than I have ever cried before

If I could.... I would give up anything just to save his life
I didn't mean to push him off the roof it was only an accident
An accident that could cost him his life.
His neck is broken... The other had whispered to his friend but I heard

I placed my head in between my legs and pray fervently that Philip survives this... That he overcomes this. I don't want him to die..... Not only would I be a murderer but he would no longer exist
I will never see him again
That can't happen. That would be the worse trauma to carry on with.

I heard noise and I raised my slower as I see Simon holding Julie back as she tries to burst through the door leading to his ward

She held her stomach and cried loudly as she slumps to her knees. Simon was holding her from injuring herself

Then she turned to my side and our eyes met, I froze not because she was looking at me but the anger in her eyes terrifies me, she stood up slowly and walk towards me

"What is she doing here... What are you doing here... Answer me what are you doing here "

I tremble as she move closer to me

"I..... I.... Uh"

"You what... You came here to see if you had succeeded with your plans.. Uh"
Simon came between us as she tries to hit me

"I think it best you leave..... "
Simon says as I stood up immediately, i turned slowly in the direction of the ICU and turn to see Julie staring daggers at me... A man approached her and whispered something to her ears.... I turn to leave but she launch at me from behind dragging my shirt

"You tried.... To kill my husband.... You tried to kill him... How dare you "

I turn to look at her but she slaps me hard on the face, my cheeks turned soar and I gulped hard and held my face terrified Not at her reaction but at the fact that I actually tried to kill him whether on not it was intentional.. I tried to kill him
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I look down, I

"Call the police am getting her arrested " she yelled

"Wait! What... What are you talking about " Simon asked

"She tried to kill him Philip, she pushed him off the roof... Why else do you think she's here..... Ohh did you think Philip jumped off the roof himself.... No he didn't she pushed him!!! "

"Just calm down... Juliet, there must be misunderstanding or something... Don't just make decisions out of rush "

"This is not a misunderstanding Simon...... She came back to finish him and that exactly what she's doing..... She followed him to the rooftop and pushed him..... Ohh oh... Where are these police officers "

I stand rooted in the same spot and sob gently..... I don't even have the energy to defend myself... I brought this upon myself

"You went too far this time genesis.... And if anything happens to him as much as a scratch...... I would make you pay dearly.. Officers take her away "

I turned to face two officers and they held out my hand and handcuff them.

they led me out of the hospital in handcuffs and into their vehicle

I couldn't say a word
What would I have said
I didn't mean to push it
I only pushed him by accident