Perfect SCARS

34

After flinging the newspaper, I still bend down and put them back in order....

I needed to be sure am not making things up and all these are not just one of my delusion as my shrink likes to call it

Over the years have had serious dilemma of mistaking people, other men as Philips.... It happened several times and most times it gets really ugly

I remember one night at a club, a guy approached me and was trying to talk to me but I mistook him for Philips and gave him a hard slap

The other night I kicked the man in between his legs, and so many more like that... It got so bad one day I wouldn't stop throwing things at a particular guy I met at a bar and I accidentally threw a stool at him and he was bleeding

It took that before my eyes could clear and the cops shoving my ass into their car.... The guy filed charges and the judge said I had to Pay for his health bills and see a shrink

I'm not proud of the things I have done under the influence of alcohol which is why I quit drinking about two years ago, after I got my dream job

This is actually an eye opener for me an opportunity to see the real demon behind my mystery and ask myself what to do.... What would i do now that I know where he is and what's he's been up to and to crown it all, he is actually happy and enjoying his life and now has a family

He probably doesn't remember that I exist.. .... He probably wouldnt remember a thing about me
After all I was just a mere pass time for him, to satisfy himself 

I opened my laptop and googled latest Nigerian gists, a lot of celebrity scandal... And nothing relevant. Then I checked Political zone... It didn't come directly but after going through some link.. His name finally pops up, the same picture of him waving his hand and then the one with his family

It looked much clearer here than on the newspaper, his wife is a beautiful woman, always wearing a wide smile, i clicked on her name to find out more information about her..

Her name is Juliet Jackson, father Nigerian, mother American that explains the skin color, studied Economics in Boston university... Currently married to Philip Jackson and blessed with three kids

I read on and on.... My nose was running but I didn't mind... I viewed more pictures of her and her family
She is the only child of her parents..

I saw the picture of her wedding with Philip, they got married in early 2010 which means they got married a few years after I had left... Or should I rather say escaped

My palms were sweating and I rub them together.... This is doing alot of damage to my brain cells and I can't stop... I screamed and threw everything on the table off the table including my laptop.

i stood up after a while, and regulate my breathing before walking into the bathroom.. I stare at myself in the mirror and a thought clicked...

I definitely dont look anything like I did THRITEEN YEARS ago. My face is oval, my eyes could be hazel if I fit in really good contact lenses... My lips are fuller and my body definitely different

I use the gym most times but I live on a healthy diet so I'm probably even more skinny than I use to be...

And this person am staring at through the mirror is not a girl but a lady. A grown ass lady

As I turned to check out myself in the mirror. I noticed my back.... It is never easy to forget something you have to live with especially when it leaves you with PERMANENT SCARs.

My back was filled with them. Infact I couldn't just wear anyhow clothes because of it... Then I had to visit a tattoo shop and cover all the scars on my back, my arm, my side,  stomach with tattoos

And there weren't just anyhow tattoos, they were tattoos that tells my story in French... I wrote in French because it was a major course I took in the university and I really liked.. I actually understand it well enough..

And then on my forehead... I had a line mark... That refuses... To heal... so I had to be on fringe... Not like it suits me but to cover up my scar until I could afford a surgery that could help to cover it up.. Fringe for now

But the major difference here is.. I'm no longer Agnes Kofi... Am Genesis Brown now..... A woman of standard and value

I know what my head is driving at and Even though it's not the right thing.... It's the only thing I can do that can assure me rest of mind
And am going to do it

I remembered a very good friend of mine Mira, who moved back to Nigeria a few years back with her son

Her contact must be here somewhere.. I pulled out my small old box and searched for her contact.. It was boldly written behind a photograph who took together.. I smiled and quickly punched the numbers on my phone hopefully it goes through..

I spoke to her early this year when she called to wish me a happy new year and since then I never returned her call, I just hope she picks it should still be daytime in Nigeria

... She picked at the last ring and I was relieved to hear her voice again

"Hello. .. Mira Jones speaking "

"Did You forget to add spongy cake... "
She giggled

"Ohhh hi... Who's this "

"Why not take a wild guess "

"Uhhhm... Anita is that you... "

"Am hurt.... Is that the first name that comes to mind "

"Well... It's a foreign number and I'm quite confused... It's impossible to guess so help me out "

"It's me.... Genesis "

"Ohh my goodness... Gene.. Is that really you "

"Yes it me ..... who else calls you spongy "

"Wow.. Am just like wow... You finally decided to call me today .... I'm surprised "

"I know I promised to call but I've been really busy... I'm so sorry "

"No dont apologize.... I get it, I'm just glad you called "

"Yeah me too, so how are you and Bobby and how's Nigeria "

"Well.. We're all good we thank God and how are you, how's work "

"Work's great... Uhhm Mira I'm actually thinking of coming around and I thought it would be nice if I told you before coming "

"Really!! You wanna come visit "

"Visit... Not really, I dont know how long I'll be staying "

"I dont get.... "

"I want to come back to Nigeria.. Mira"

"What.... Why"

"it's... Uhmm... Actually it's a long story "

"But You already have a green card, don't you "

"I do.... But I mean "

"You mean what... Do you think Bobby and I would  be here if we have been blessed with a green card like you... Why would anyone want to leave there for here.. Especially when you are living comfortably......"

"You dont understand "

"Of course I dont.... But I'm sure whatever is your reason for coming back here..... It must be really worth it coz I know what the memories here hold for you "

She's right.... But how do I tell her that what chased me out is the same thing that's bringing me back... She must have noticed the confusion in my silence because she continued

"Anyway.. You must know I'm dying to see you again and if this is a way of doing that. I don't mind being a little selfish I just want to see my friend again.. "

We both laughed and joked about it as we go on talking about other things