Perfect SCARS

61

I just torture myself by coming here.. I couldn't as much as blink since I stepped in this room

It was a squared empty room with a bed and nothing else
The moment the door was shut
I knew I was going to go crazy

His room is upstairs just like it has always been and I am here in a room that feels just the same as the hell hole he placed me in years back

Even though this room looks fancier, and bigger and nicer... I still feel like am locked up under the same roof as he

Shortly after Julie brought me here.. The maid returned with a pack of juice and cookies...
I almost would have begged her to stay in here with me but I don't want to look creepier than am already acting

I wanted to keep the door open but there's a very active air condition running in the room...

I tried to distract myself with the eatables but my head was in the past already

***********************************
Tonight it was raining heavily.. The thunder rolled loudly in the skies..
I curved up on my tiny mattress and hug my pillow.....

I really prayed he won't coming looking for me... I am too tired
I know I have gotten use to the pounding and digging but it still hurts every time he tries to pull out because he always make sure to go as deep as possible

And I don't want to experience another painful encounter tonight

How I wish I could go spent the night somewhere else and I don't have to survive the same fate every night.... Even if it is just for a night... To not cry my eyes out and yell in pain.
And no matter how loud I scream no one has ever heard me

No one should be allowed to own a home and live in it alone.... It should be stated a crime... What if there are more people like in out there and there are more like me too... With no one to fight on their behalf , with no one to worry about them and they are just suffering in silence..
Enduring this punishment all alone

I could cry a river but that can not change the situation of things......
Lately have learnt to stop fighting... Fighting doesn't help... He just gets really violent and won't stop until you are bleeding or passed out

And because I am within is reach and available for him to use anytime of the day... He could just stroll into my room anytime he likes

And just as I was thinking about my life outside of this four walls....
He was already at the door pushing his way In

He walked in like he owned the place... Well yes he owned the place but how much could he have possibly paid Mrs Lawrence to sell me off like this... Am I that cheap

He glared at me.... and I know what comes next but I would really prefer to stay on my bed with my pillow and blanket. .

I don't want this man on me or inside me anymore
But what can I do am helpless

***********************************

I was helpless but that was THRITEEN YEARS ago... Things has to change..

I decided to take the tray to the kitchen..  Just to get out of this room.
I was coming out from my room when I saw Julie in the bar....

It's past midnight and she's still awake and filling a glass by this time

"Julie.. ."
I called softly but she was startled

"Ohh gosh genesis... You scared me "

" sorry i didnt mean to "

"Its okay.... "

"You are still awake by this time "

"Yeah couldn't sleep.... Why are you carrying that "

"I wanted to return it to the kitchen "

"Ohhh You shouldn't bother "

I know I shouldn't but I did anyway

"What's up with you... You look worried "

"Well I am worried "

"Does that explain why you are drinking by 2:am"

She chuckles

"I'm  just unable to sleep "

"Is that so... "

"Yeah "

"And You chose to drink by this time to catch some sleep "

"Something like that "

"I dont think so... Why would go through the stress of coming down here when you told me your husband has a wine cellar in your room "

Actually she didn't tell me this.... I must have heard it from Victoria but definitely not from Julie. She'll never share something that personal.. Did I just bite my own tongue.... Ouch

"Ok... Ok.... You got me"

I smiled broadly

"Can I be completely honest "

"Sure "

"I'm exhausted.. And I'm scared am going to break down eventually.... "

"What's the reason for that "

"Everything...... I try so hard,  put in so much effort and still what do u get in return... Nothing but insults from that ungrateful son of a bitch "

She said as she sips her white wine.... Ohh oh....

"how do you mean "

"Do You know I put in so much effort to keep this family together.... To put this household together and even this forthcoming election.... It gets worse every now and then "

"What's gets worse "

"His attitude towards everything... Have you ever wondered why I'm so edgy all the time that's because I do everything in this house... In this family "

"Wow "

"I wouldn't share this with anyone but I have had it up to here "
She held her jaw

"Even tonight.   He didn't bother to know the hell I went through today to put things in order..... The primaries are coming up soon and you have to have enough high and mighty people backing you up before you can scale through..... I had to visit a royal family today and the question they kept asking me was if I was the one contesting for the post "

"Doesn't he want to win "

"Philip doesn't care about anything but himself... "

Yeah I know that... For sure

"But he wants this doesn't he"

"He doesn't and every opportunity he gets.. He keeps shoving it at me that he's doing this for my father "

"I dont understand... Your father "

"My dad wants him to be a senator. He needs someone in the government

"Woah..... What for "

"He has issues and he can only resolve it if and only if someone represents him in the government "

"And that someone had to be Philip "

"Yes... My dad is not fully Nigerian, so he can't contest or it would be too direct.. If he does it himself  "

"Is that so... "

"But that's not the problem... The problem is my Husband "

Of course he is a big problem.
That needs to be dismantled  as soon as possible