Body swap (FrUK)

Chapter twenty-seven

The last time I saw Francis was last week during dinner. However, we continued to switch bodies in such a troublesome time. It was now the night before the wedding, and I was worried that maybe he was hurt about everything that had happened that night. As I lay out my clothes on the bed, I start to think about how Yao will change us back. That is when I realized. My eyes widened as I backed away from my suit. "Yao won't let us change back unless......unless I reject him for good," I said out loud.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, horrified. I could not tell him. If Yao did not see how heartbroken he was, he would not buy it. It would need to be realistic. That is why Yao smirked at me that night!!!!! He knew he would not change us back if I gave in. He wanted to see us suffer. Now sadly that I realize it.....I was going to let him win. There was no use in fighting against him when he had complete control over us. My feelings for Francis were never an option in this situation.

The only option that we had was for me to reject him to the point where he..... hated me. Hates me so much that I finally realize what an asshole I really was. Even if we realized our mistakes already, he wanted us to feel it hard, especially now since I have really fallen for him. As much as I hate the idea, I don't want to switch anymore. It is terrible, and I can't even have privacy for fear that I might switch. I am even nervous about taking showers, times that are for myself. I will do whatever it takes.

~
I phoned Francis later that night to make sure he was going to the wedding. Which he said he would not miss. Luckily, that was the answer I was hoping for. I do not plan to reject him in front of everyone; I just need to hurt his feelings enough and at the right time. When Yao will see, then he will break the spell. Francis offered to pick me up tomorrow in the morning, which might be troublesome, but I did not refuse. If everything goes as planned, I will make sure to tell Francis the truth.

Like telling a lie, he will probably really hate me, but I need to do this for the both of us. Besides, it is hard to believe he actually loves me while he has a girlfriend. It just does not make sense for anyone to be with someone else and love another. Elizabeta I am sure, loves him a lot. Why on earth will I be the one to step into a relationship like that? I would really go to Hell hell hell. The worst part ever. I continued to look at myself in the mirror trying to think of what to say tomorrow.

It needs to be the right amount of bad. However, if he is serious about his feelings, it might be easier to do it than I realize. For all I know, maybe he is extremely sensitive. Damn it, I would really feel like an asshole making him cry again. I did not like making him cry when we were in the gazebo. Doing it again won't be any easier, especially since I will be doing it on purpose. I still could not seem to have the heart to do that....even if I really needed to do it.

"Francis... I do not love you...and I ne- and I ne- AND I NEVER WILL!" I finally finished saying. Even practicing those words makes me sick to my core. I feel like a despicable human being. Like a human being that has no empathy nor remorse for someone else. The type of human being Yao actually sees me as. I felt tears fall down my cheeks thinking about it. I do not want to do it, and I just can not. I am not the type of person to be that heartless. I have learned my lesson; isn't that enough?

I fell to my knees in sadness, holding my hands to my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying. "I can't cry right now; Francis might switch with me," I told myself. That was a reason to do it, though. Times like this, I can't even cry to myself in fear of someone else seeing me so weak and defenseless. Any person would want their freedom of loneliness again and comfort. I quickly wiped my tears, standing up. "You are Arthur Kirkland, for Christ's sake...pull yourself together, idiot" I slapped my cheeks.

Tomorrow I will do it, no matter what. No matter how much it hurts me. I am doing this to protect my privacy, as anyone would do. Plus, it is not like I will not tell him the truth. I will make sure to make a note or something. No!!! What if we switch while I make it? I know; I will do a recording, maybe? Ugh, this is way more difficult than I realize. I should just tell him in person like a normal person. Who knows if he would forgive me, though? Damn!!!! All this worrying is making my stomach hurt badly.

I placed my clothes on the chair beside my bedside. I need to get some sleep; all this worrying won't do me any good. I got into bed slowly, feeling miserable—more than I usually have ever felt before. "Someone, please kill me" I laugh in a joking way. Turning off the lamp on the nightstand. I continued to lay in bed, paranoid about what was to come the next day. "Just calm down already ....please," I told myself softly. I finally placed the covers over my head, closing my eyes. Yet I could not sleep; I felt afraid of the morning.

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Thanks for reading so far ❤️
This book is almost done....I think the next chapter might be the end. Idk yet....we will see how it works out.