Life and its silver lining.

Chapter 30

I don't own Naruto that alone belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, the songs and picture don't belong to me, the only thing that belongs to me is the story nothing else.

I didn't write any of the song I use in any of the chapters those right belong to those who did write them I'm just using them as this is a book based music and song writing and those are the song I picked to use. So enjoy the songs and the story line.

-xXx-

Naruto POV

We moved back to Japan a month after Sasuke and the boys left as I had quiet a bit to short out here before we could move there, at first I wasn't sure if we should but after finding out I was pregnant again, I know I had to move back because I couldn't do that to Sasuke again.

It was like fate had other plans for us, because if we wasn't meant to be together, I wouldn't have become pregnant again, after the first time we did it after not being together for so long. So finding out I was I know I had to go back home even if I still feel he would be better off without me.

After shorting everything out this end we moved back to Japan were sasuke had put the triplets in the same school as their brothers. Buying bunk beds for the twins who will have the last room while kaidan and drake share as they are nearly the same age, as only nine month are between them.

I have the triplet a month early so kaidan was nine months when they were born. So it was better putting them in the same room and not with natsu as he was the oldest. Sharing a room with someone six years younger then he was just didn't seem right, that was why kaidan and drake would share.

When we got home Sasuke and his family was waiting for us along with my dad and sister, who jumped into my arms as I walked through the door. Once everyone welcomed me home I introduced the triplets to them all. 

He also throw us a welcome home party, all was going alright until they asked me why I left not only sasuke but also my sons.

"Why did you leave huh, even after the life you had growing up, you did the same to your sons?" (F)

"No I didn't, they had their father while I had no one so no it wasn't the same. Anyway you wouldn't understand why I did it even if I explained it to you." (N)

"How do you know we won't understand huh?" (F)

"Because none of you grow up alone, you all had a loving family to be there for you growing up. Holding you when you cried, cheering you along in sports and congratulating you when you did well with exams, sports or other subjects. I had no one, no one waiting at home for me, to hold me when I cried or even to congratulating me when I did well at something. 

You were all so lucky to have someone there for you throughout your life. So no none of you will ever understand why I left sasuke and my boys. If none of you want me here I will just leave again and it will be the last time any of you will see me ever again."

"No mama, don't leave again please we just got you back." (Na)

"No naruto your staying like natsu just said we just got you back so you and the triplets ain't going anywhere." (S)

"Sasuke right, just ignore what Fugaku says, he is just in a bad mood and he is taking that mood out on you which is the wrong thing to do." (M)

"All I want to know is why, is that so wrong, maybe we don't understand it at all. I just want to know why he felt the need to leave his husband and children thats all." (F)

"I left because I didn't think I should be happy while every one else around me wasn't. If it wasn't for me dad and mum would still be married and her and the twins would still be here with him, sasuke wouldn't be gay and married to someone like me, who isn't even fully male because I have both parts.

All I have done since coming into your life's is bring nothing but heart ache and pain, breaking family's apart with just being around them. If I was meant to be happy I would have been wanted my both my mum and dad as soon as I was born, yet I wasn't I was handed off to a maid and forgot about.

The only person I know was Shizune but she was taken from me when the twins were born and after that I did everything I could to make my family happy and that was to stay away from them. I even moved into the attic when Menma was old enough to have his own room as I know that is what I should do. 

I found a job so I wouldn't eat the food that wasn't meant for me as I wasn't part of that family. Then at twelve they left me and took all the things I brought for myself with them but left me behind. I wish I had died that day or even the day I was born like mum believed me to be. All I have done is brought nothing but unhappiness and pain to those around me from the moment I was born.

I wish I hadn't started singing in Melbourne and just stayed as a technician that way I wouldn't have been found, because all I'm doing again is bringing those around me nothing but pain just being here. Thats why I left because no one like me should ever be happy and have a family they were never meant to have not now not ever." (N)

"I told you none of it was your fault, it would have ended one day." (M.N)

"No it wouldn't have and you dam well know it. If it wasn't for me meeting sasuke and agreeing to write that song with him, then going and recording it at your studio. None of it would have happened the way it has. I believe that Mito would one day become part of the family because you come across as the perfect family in magazine interview. So neglecting her would have been wrong if one day she stop being in pictures with you.

Unlike me who was born before you started the company thats why you got away with it. Also she at least would know family even if only a little but at least she was wanted, as I don't believe mum really feels that why and one day she would have seen that Mito was her daughter too, if I hadn't come along and messed it all up for you.

All I have done from the start is bring nothing but pain and sadness to everyone round me. I made family's fall apart, when they should be happy together and not apart. Thats why I left my husband and sons because I know one day I would bring nothing but pain and sadness for them too." (N)

"What about the triplets, if they wasn't meant to be born you wouldn't have become pregnant with them, so don't you ever say you were never meant to have a family because you are. Weather you like it or not, you were meant to be loved and have a family with the one who loves you no matter what pain you bring them.

I never want to be without you again naruto, you and our children are my world and without you my life means nothing. Yes for five years I brought our sons up and built up the business we started but without you I was just doing what was needed of me. Now your back I am never letting you go again not now not ever." (S)

"Why Sasuke?" (N)

"Because I have loved you from the moment I heard you sing and when I saw you with tears falling from your eyes, they were so blue that day they took my breath away. In that moment I know you were made just for me, I was gay even before I met you and had been for years so you didn't turn me gay because I already was.

God made you the way you are for me, knowing I would one day want children even if they wasn't of my blood I would have adopted them. Yet because of you I was able to have children that were made out of love with the one I love. So I will say this again god made you just for me and if fate had other plans for you we wouldn't have met." (S)

"On that you maybe right." (N)

"How do you mean?" (S)

"I'll tell you later when we are alone." (N)

After that nothing else was really said and once everyone left and the children where in bed me and sasuke sat down and talked as we hadn't really been able to since Melbourne. As we haven't really talked much at all not even on the phone.

I still feel I should never have come back because nothing but sadness and pain will follow maybe not right away but I know it will one day. I just hope the day it does they will finally understand what I have all those years. I bring those around me nothing just unhappiness, sadness and pain. 

-xXx-

1649 words

Song list:
Listen to your Heart by DHT feat Edmee