Irresistible | jjk

♡ Chapter 38

I'm standing outside my house.

I'm standing outside my old house, apparently.

"For sale" it says on a sign that's attached to the house.

Gregor has left to go stay at a friend's house. He actually doesn't live far away from here.

I start to walk, headed to Jungkook's place. I hope he lets me explain because for all he knows, I just packed my things and left him without a word. I am nervous to see him again, I don't know why, but I'm just nervous for how he'll react upon seeing me.

I reach his house and my heart beats fast, thinking about how I'll finally get to see him, hug him, kiss him. God how I missed him.

I take slow steps towards the door and I'm soon standing on his doorsteps. I take a deep breath before I knock on the door. There's just complete and utter silence. I knock again and I hear someone running down the stairs. I smile excitedly.

I am expecting to see Jungkook when I am met by another boy.

"Y/N?" His deep voice rings in my ears.

"Taehyung" I say, looking up at him.

"What are you doing here?"

I frown, looking down as I release a shaky breath.

"Taehyung.. I-"

"No."

Taehyung shakes his head, opening the door and stepping out, closing the door behind him. He closes up to me and I have to take a step back so I don't fall.

"Do you know what you've done to him? Do you know what, you leaving, did to him?" Taehyung says with his eyebrows lowered and his hands balled up in fists.

"I didn't leave him-"

"Oh save the lies, Y/N!" He almost shouts, turning around just to turn back, facing me again.

"How could you just leave without a single word?" Taehyung looks so lost, he looks like he's asking a question he has seekedthe answer to for so long.

"I didn't leave! I was-"

"Jungkook is broken!! He hasn't slept since you left him, since you abandoned him, he has barely eaten, he looks like a stick! His eyes are red because he cries himself to sleep and he gets drunk every night!!!" Taehyung yells, his neck vein popping through his skin.

I stare him in the eyes, shocked as my eyes fill with tears. I tremble. "I-I-" I stutter.

It's all my fault.

If I hadn't been inconsiderate to my brother before he took his life, then he wouldn't have taken it. If Sehun didn't kill himself, I wouldn't be harming myself and I wouldn't be sent to that institution and Jungkook wouldn't have been hurt like this.

It's all my fault.

"It's all my fault." I whisper, Taehyung barely hearing me. "Damn right it is." He says. "I just... I didn't want to hurt him!" I lift my head, looking into thin air.

"Taehyung.." I say. "Taehyung, let me talk to him." I say.

Taehyung scoffs. "Yea right, he doesn't want to talk to you. He doesn't need you here Y/N, you'll just make everything worse."

"I didn't leave him!" I yell. "I don't care, get the fuck out of here." He says and I scoff. "No. I'm not leaving until I can see him." I say, taking a step forward. Taehyung looks like he's boiling with anger now and I get a little shaken up.

"I said." He takes a step towards me, his fists clenched tighter. "Leave." He says, his eyes radiating of hate and broken trust.

"I love him." My voice cracks. "I love him, Taehyung, more than anything." I start to cry again and Taehyung loosens up a bit. He sighs. "I will explain everything, just let me inside." I say.

It looks like Taehyung has softened up a little bit and I get my hopes up.

"Y/N, leave, or I'll call the cops." He says. This time, he's calm saying it and it makes him even more scary than when he was yelling.

I sob as I stare at him and the house one last time before I turn around and start to leave.

My mind is blank and I can't get the image of a broken Jungkook out of my mind.

Everyone I care about in my life, gets hurt and I can't help but wonder if all of the hurt would go away if I just... went away.

The world would probably be a better place without me in it, seeing as I just destroy everything with my own hurt and heartbreak.

It's not until I've stopped halfway down Jungkook's porch, that I realize that I'm having a panic attack.

Of course it has to be now of all times. I'm breathing fast, my whole body is pulsing, my mind being the most affected by this because I swear to god it feels like water is being pumped into my brain. I crouch down to the ground and I try to steady my breath.

I can't calm down.

"Y/N?" I hear Taehyung open the door and jogging down to me. "What are you doing here still? I told you-" he stops talking as he reaches me. I start to cough really bad until it feels like I'm about to throw up. "What's happening to you?" He asks, hesitantly stepping closer and crouching down in front of me.

"I-" "I need water, I'm-" "panick attack, I need-"

Taehyung gets stands up and he runs inside to get a bottle of water. After closing the door to the refrigerator, he meets Jungkook's questioning eyes that are inspecting him from top to toe.

Taehyung looks down.

"What's going on?" Jungkook asks, his voice raspy, seeing as he just woke up.

"Taehyung?"

Taehyung just runs back outside as he is in a hurry to get me water. I'm still crouched down on the pavement.

Taehyung hands me the water and I quickly drink of it.

I cough really loud and that's when Jungkook steps outside because of the familiar sound.

I drink more of the water and I've almost calmed down.

Jungkook widens his eyes as I stand up, facing the door. Facing him.

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Yuhh

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