"'Consumed by sadness and the fallout of a now retreating fear.' That ought to be tagline for what it's like sporking this shit." ~KittyHP [A/N true to my word.]
Sporking: Stones to Abbigale. A book so bad it misspells it's title character's name.
A...
Kitty: *attempting to brain herself on a kitchen counter*
John: Woah, might wanna lay off. That's some fine marble.
Kitty: *groans* I must... It's either that or copious amounts of drugs. Anything to get me into the Onion mindset.
John: *rattles an inhaler filled with Jet* Wanna go on a trip?
Kitty: I'd rather shrooms. Or MDMA. Speaking of love-drugs, where's your boyfriend?
John: *confused; giving her a dirty look*
Kitty: Robert Cop?
John: Y'mean Valentine?
Kitty: *claws her way up his back, nuzzling her head and wiping her blood on his hat, purring* Mmmyesssh.
John: Probably still at Sturges'.
Kitty: *snorts* Bitch.
John: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint *he growls*
Kitty: Nah, you're fine. We only got the intro to tackle. Oh, I'm sorry. The "From The Author" section... Which, should go at the end, since it's not labelled Acknowledgements, which it should be, if it's going at the beginning, but nvm...
John: Are you really that shocked? I thought you said this guy hasn't read a book in 15 years.
Kitty: Yeah... It shows.
John: I bet he hasn't read anything more substantial than Catcher in the Rye.
Kitty: *sighs through her teeth* Methinks his second book is meant to be the Scrotie McBoogerballs of this reality.
John: ... What?
Kitty:
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John: Ha! I can get behind that.
Kitty: *waggles eyebrows at him* No. No, you really can't.
From the Author
I want to be direct, my name is Greg.
Kitty & John: We know!
I go by "Onision" online.
Kitty: Except in my circles. You typically go by "That Wanker."
John: Or Onion. Cuz you make people whine and cry. By whining and crying. Like a bitch.
This book is made up of events that occurred in my own life mixed with fiction from the made up life of James.
Kitty: *clasping her paws in Hancock's direction making weird mewling noises*
John: *shrugs and hands her a hip flask - watches as she downs it, greedily*
Kitty: *wincing and screwing the top back on* Reading that sentence physically hurt me.
