Kitty: *crawls to the cat bed, chomping on a peach, whilst armed with a can of hairspray and a lighter*
John: *downing a pint of rum* I can't believe you dragged Viv away from him like that.
Kitty: *her mouth hangs open* Bwuh?
Wesker: *quietly in the corner reading his twitter feed*
John: Hey, fuzz-bucket! Look alert.
Kitty: *bleary-eyed* Mmmnaaagh?
John: Uh... What?
Wesker: Allow me to translate from Inebriated Fuckwit to English *clasps her head, massaging her temples*
Kitty: *her hackles raise, fur prickling*
Wesker: Hmmph. It would appear she ran into a roadblock of sorts.
John: How so?
Wesker: *closes his eyes and winces as he digs deeper* Whilst she was recovering from Part Two, she discovered Fuckhead's Onlyfans.
John: Oh shit...
Kitty: So much ass... *shudders* That was only the beginning.
Wesker: *pulls his hand away from her in disgust* You saw his cock?
Kitty: Put it this way - there are not enough vices in the entire fucking multiverse to purge that image from my mind. With that said, it's not going to stop me from trying! But, I am going to avoid making references to his... Weapon of Reproduction. Purely on the basis of Do Not Want.
Wesker: For once, I can agree with you. It wont stop me from using it to torment you, though.
Kitty: Yes, but you're a dick. We've been over this.
Wesker: And I resent that.
John: I think on the Dick-o-Scale it'd be safe to say that you're both as bad each other.
Kitty: Thanks. How's my sweet lil Toaster doing?
John: Better now that Viv is giving him a tune-up.
Kitty: *purrs* They are so cute together.
John: Aye. Such a shame that a hot piece of ass gets with literally thee most dickless dick in the Commonwealth.
Kitty: Ssh. You're just jealous cuz you can't perv on his sexy circuits.
Wesker: *quirks a brow* And yet you do?
Kitty: *texting Viv with a pathetic grin on her face, her tongue poking out as she remains fixed to the screen* The mechanic has been most informative.
John:...
Kitty: What?
John: Do I wanna know what you ladies are planning?
Kitty: It may involve handcuffs and kerosene. Don't worry, it's for a project.
John: *glances at Wesker, looking for any hints*
Wesker: They read more of Fuckhead's bollocks. I assume it's either for that, or hogtying Mr Valentine for her... Sadistic purposes.
Kitty: It is for doing the murder, yes.
John: Ah. Makes sense.
Kitty: *pouts* Yet we must continue reading it.
John: Well, okay.
Wesker & Kitty: *share a look*
Kitty: I really don't wanna...
Wesker: You're the leech that had to bring me into this shit.
YOU ARE READING
Topside: Realm of the Onion
Humor"'Consumed by sadness and the fallout of a now retreating fear.' That ought to be tagline for what it's like sporking this shit." ~KittyHP [A/N true to my word.] Sporking: Stones to Abbigale. A book so bad it misspells it's title character's name. A...
