Topside: Realm of the Onion

Chapter Six

John: Uh, Kitty... This list...

Kitty: What about it?

John: Peaches, tequilla, a rubber duck, switchblade, wallpaper paste, vaporub, and a fishing net. *giving her a suspicious look* What are you--

Wesker: *enters through a portal, hauling a man in a dirtied white suit with a bag over his head. Wesker shoves the guy into the chair next to Nick*

John: *takes the opportunity to run back to the portal, leaving the bag of goodies at the entrance*

Wesker: *joins him*

Kitty: *jumps onto Nick's lap, waggling her tail in his face until he reboots*

Frank: *groans*

Nick: *his proximity systems alert him to her presence - powers on* Back so soon?

Kitty: Yes. And I bought a guest. *yanks the bag off of Frank's head* Anything to say, dickhead?

Frank: Oh god... Here again? *rubbing his eyes as he stretches, noticing Nick. He tenses* You... *glances between him and Kitty*

Nick: *shrugs* It sorta slipped out.

Kitty: Indeed. Cuz you're a good honest man. *her ears twitch* Minus the penis.

Nick: *quirks a brow* I find it lessens the bravado.

Frank: Riiiight *reaching for the pen in his suit pocket*

Kitty: Anyway! *grabs his hand and digs her claws into his recently-bandaged hand, until he loosens his grip*

Frank: *wincing as he drops the pen* Nnngh! Had to be the broken one...

Kitty: *snatches it up* So, is this how you've been giving us the slip? *fiddles with the device until it expands like an impossibly infinite switchblade, into a disk with flashy lights and duct tape holding it together*

Frank: It was a gift. Family heirloom.

Kitty: Suuuure. Unless your father is Doc Brown, then you can git to fuck *grabs his dress shirt* Who gave it to you?

Nick: *ahem* Kitty...

Kitty: *sighs* Fiiine. But later *points a claw at Frank* I have my ways of making you sing like Alvin and his buddies.

Frank: *gulps* I hope it's nothing like what you and the other Al were up to...

Kitty: Yeah, about tha--

Nick: No! We don't need to lower the tone any further, kid. Focus!

Kitty: Oh yeah, cuz reading about Gerg's sex life is so much better!

Nick: It is, as a matter of fact. At least he doesn't terrify the living shit out of me.

Kitty: *purrs and nuzzles her head against his knee* I beg to differ.

Frank: *squints as he begins to read what's on the screen* The hell is this two-bit scribbling? A toddler could do better.

Kitty: Right?!

Nick: It's meant to be a love story... I think.

Frank: Okay. I retract my statement. I've seen tabloids write better.

Kitty: *takes a swig of tequilla* Let's do this.

Quite a few days passed. Everything felt like it was falling into place with Abbi.

Kitty: [As James]