I
was asleep until I met her, when I finally woke I learned the meaning of "perfect imperfection."
Nick: Oxymorons, outside of poetry, come across as...
Kitty: *idly making wanking gestures*
Nick: *nods towards her* That.
Kitty: I am more annoyed that he felt the need to remind us that he is waking up... Twice. And why does every one of these shitty high school tween fics have to begin with our narrator waking up? I want a story where we're introduced to our lead falling out of a building!
Nick: I don't see how th--
Kitty: Silence!
Nick: *attempting to ignore the song, as if it were mustard gas* On the topic of poetry, that haiku you wrote...
Kitty: What about it?
Nick: Just one question.
Kitty: *looking exasperated* Which is?
Nick: What is hentai?
John: *leaning in the doorway, looking smug* I thought you said you'd done your research.
Kitty: *squeals and launches herself at Hancock's face*
Nick: *nods towards his regular confidant* You mean to tell me you have?
John: *snorts* Well, let's face it. This bitch doesn't keep us around for our good looks.
Kitty: *pokes Hancock's chin* That is where you're wrong, wise guy.
Nick: So? *hands John the haiku*
John: *smirks and sets Kitty down* In short, Hentai is a type of Japanese porn.
Kitty: Usually involving tentacles.
John: *gauging Nick's increasing look of mortification* ...And underage schoolgirls.
Kitty: Yeah... But they're animated so, it's okay.
Nick: *shakes his head, his glowy eyes flickering as he shifts uncomfortably* I didn't think it were possible to feel bad for *ahem* Mr Onision, but--
Kitty & John: Don't.
John: Seriously. He's only haunted by it, in the sense that he wishes he could devote every second--
Kitty: --of every minute--
John: --of every day. To... Y'know.
Nick: *rubs his wrist subconsciously, still unable to shake the feeling of pity* Such a sickening addiction...
John: Anyway sunflowers and guinea pigs, what'd I miss?
Kitty: Fuckall *refers to her copy of this slime* We've got 17 pages left of this chapter, and we've only just mocked the first line.
Nick & John: *share a look of bug-eyed shock*
I've always been the type of person to focus on
Kitty: Since our character is a teenager...
YOU ARE READING
Topside: Realm of the Onion
Humor"'Consumed by sadness and the fallout of a now retreating fear.' That ought to be tagline for what it's like sporking this shit." ~KittyHP [A/N true to my word.] Sporking: Stones to Abbigale. A book so bad it misspells it's title character's name. A...
