Kitty: Six pages? Sweet. Might be able to bang this one out faster than your momma in a double-ended dildo factory.
Wesker: *glares* For all intents and purposes, you can assume that my parents are a petri dish and a syringe.
Kitty: *wrinkles her nose* Sexy. I would wonder how foreplay works there, but I'm sure you have similar questions.
Wesker: *arcs a brow, smirking as he stretched his back, his abdominals straining beneath his leather cloths* I've never had any complaints.
Kitty: That's probably because you had to consult an online tutorial.
John: *spawned into the room, groaning and rubbing his head* You couldn't give me five minutes, could ya? I was having a lovely dream about Curie and I playing Doctor...
Wesker: *fists clench as he snarls*
Kitty: *rolls her eyes* Look, you both signed up for this chapter so you might as well try to get along.
John: *wiping dried drool off the corner of his mouth* Fine by me. Nothing personal, dude *offers Wesker his hand*
Wesker: *silently and stonily returns the shake. Then turns his attention to Kitty* What did I miss?
Kitty: Fuckall.
John: *shrugs* It was, uh... Pretty confusing.
Wesker: This stupid little wank fantasy? *snorts* I doubt that.
Kitty: Mr. Mack is apparently an alias for Mr Incredible cuz motherfucker survived getting shot in the face with an armour piercing round.
Wesker:...
Kitty: Exactly.
Wesker: *cracks open the book* Spineless requests that Fuckface meet her behind the Make-Out Church.
I suppose I could have been worried she was going to talk about something dramatic, but
John: [As Gerg] --that would involve originality.
Kitty: [As Gerg] And effort.
Wesker: [As Gerg] And having a spittle of self-awareness.
Kitty: *shares a look with John* Says the guy that's so camp he makes Elton John look straight.
Wesker: *sighs as he backhands her*
Kitty: *dodges* Aha!
Abbi had the acquired habit of not letting me down.
John: *narrows his eyes*
Kitty: *gags*
Wesker: [As James] She's very obedient. I have trained her well.
Kitty: *looking queasy* I really don't wanna know what qualifies as "a bone" in this context.
John: Well, prepare to suffer because this paragraph starts to get all gushy.
As I walked up to her she asked me "How much have you missed me?"
I replied, "How much does someone in the desert long for water?"
Editor SOS: 307 [1 count for formatting.]
Kitty: Thirsty bitch!
John: *groans and rubs his temples, trying to ease his hangover* Don't remind me...
Wesker: After much pointless fumbling, Spineless declares that she "missed [him] to a ridiculous extent too."
Kitty: Awww, that's so sweet I can feel my arteries clogging with sugar.
YOU ARE READING
Topside: Realm of the Onion
Humor"'Consumed by sadness and the fallout of a now retreating fear.' That ought to be tagline for what it's like sporking this shit." ~KittyHP [A/N true to my word.] Sporking: Stones to Abbigale. A book so bad it misspells it's title character's name. A...
