Kitty: *swaggers in, stinking of weed and singing a mellow version of I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker*
Nick: *dryly* You poor thing.
Kitty: Ssh! Let me have this moment.
John: The chapter opens later that day, with James pondering the day's event, when Momma Onion calls him for dinner.
Kitty: Y'mean to tell me that you're seventeen and you still haven't started cooking for yourself?
I responded "Lentils again?"
She opened the door and looked at me with a blank facial expression "We have to talk, come to the table."
Kitty: Firstly,
Editor SOS: 211 [1 count for formatting.]
Nick: Secondly, be grateful that you have food at all, kid. Cut the fucking attitude!
John: Jeez, Nick.
Kitty: Don't get your servos in a twist. And since when the fuck did you start with that sailor talk?
Nick: *lights up a cigarette in an effort to calm himself* Desparate times, toots.
Kitty: Anyway, disregarding typical teenage angst... Gerg, your character comes off as a petulant and bratty child, and given that he's meant to be your glowing testament to all that you view as good... I am deeply disgusted.
John: If it's any consolation, you'll very quickly lose any sympathy for Bitchy McBitch Momma Onion.
As I left my room, I saw a man sitting at the table next to my sister.
Kitty: [As Chris Hansen] Good morning, Psychobrat. Why don't you have a seat over there?
Nick: [As Chris Hansen] Now, I have the transcripts here of all the chat logs. So now would be a really good time to start telling the truth.
John: [As Gerg] The what?
Kitty: *nomming on some heart shaped pot brownies that're glazed in a thick, drippy layer of pink icing* If only...
Nick: This is where we are introduced to Rick.
Kitty: Wubba Lubba Dubb Dubb, motherfucker.
Nick: Having graced them with his presence, James sits after Rick greets him. I think it's important to note that Rick knows who James is, but James has never heard of Rick. So I guess he's a friend of his mom.
John: Try fuckbuddy.
"This is Rick, the reason you haven't seen much of him is because
Kitty: He lives in the basement.
Nick: *pinches the bridge of his nose*
he lives on the other side of the mountains all the way in Spokane," my mom said.
YOU ARE READING
Topside: Realm of the Onion
Humor"'Consumed by sadness and the fallout of a now retreating fear.' That ought to be tagline for what it's like sporking this shit." ~KittyHP [A/N true to my word.] Sporking: Stones to Abbigale. A book so bad it misspells it's title character's name. A...
