Kitty: *mouthful of cinnamon-toasted pretzels* We're back!
Wesker: Unfortunately.
Nick: Straight back in?
Kitty: *tilts her baseball cap* Let's do dis.
One of the security guards spoke. "I think the smaller one beat up the bigger ones." he said.
Editor SOS: 479 [1 count for lack of capitilsation.]
Wesker: *withering look* Greg... Were you dropped on your head as a child?
Nick: According to my research, he headbutted a church pew once. However, this story came from Onision himself.
Kitty: That alone makes it an unreliable source.
Principal Leeman, still hysterical, screamed, "Where is the security camera footage?"
Just then, a kid ran up to Principal Leeman and said,
Editor SOS: 482 [1 count for comma abuse; & 2 counts for formatting.]
Nick: [As Kid] Hi! I'm Breef Novella! Here to document in unnecessary detail what the audience have just read.
Kitty: [As Breef Novella] I'm super redundant like that!
Wesker: [As Onision] HarHar isn't it sooooo funny that people are gobsmacked by my obvious delusions that they don't even believe me? *desperate maniacal laughter*
"You don't need no security footage, that dude beat all those jocks up!"
Editor SOS: 483 [1 count for error.]
Kitty: *eye twitches* That was clunky speech. Fuckit.
Nick: And pointless!
Kitty: *monotone* Yay...
Wesker: The shit-for-brains guard tells Leeman that there aren't security cameras for another week.
Nick: Yes, announce that right in front of a bunch of pissed-off teenagers.
Kitty: I'm sure James wont get cornered under the bleachers and given a Glasgow Special.
Nick: The Principal starts pouting over this, then addresses the "incapacitated" jocks... I dunno how he thinks it's useful to interrorgate someone who is unconscious but what do I know.
"Anything to say? Anything?" he screamed.
Jason spoke, now trying to stand up while grabbing his nose. "You guys don't say squat!" he said to his fallen friends.
Editor SOS: 487 [2 counts for formatting; & 2 counts for lack of capitilsation.]
One of the jocks choked back "Couldn't... if... I wanted!" He continued to wheeze on the floor as Jason addressed the Principal,
"Whatever just happened is my business! It happened to me, not you, or some tattle tale, so get over it Leeman!"
Editor SOS: 492 [2 counts for formatting; & 3 counts for comma abuse (and lack thereof.)]
Kitty: It's nice that this psuedo-competition for James actually displays more growth, personal accountability and respect for others than our protagonist whom I'm supposed to be routing for.
Wesker: The Principal is once again, disgust personified.
Kitty: I think we're meant to be amused by this, y'know.
Nick: *quirks a brow, sharing a look with Wesker*
Wesker: *folds his arms, looking resigned* This whiny melodramatic garbage bores me.
Nick: The Principal reminds Jason that his nose is likely broken. Then Jason continues with his petulant rant.
Kitty: Including making reference to Leeman's *ahem* "no doubt unsatisfied wife."... O-kay... It would appear that in addition to being a beef-cake, Jason is also a sassy bitch.
YOU ARE READING
Topside: Realm of the Onion
Mizah"'Consumed by sadness and the fallout of a now retreating fear.' That ought to be tagline for what it's like sporking this shit." ~KittyHP [A/N true to my word.] Sporking: Stones to Abbigale. A book so bad it misspells it's title character's name. A...
