Destiny Island

Chapter 52

Amber's point of view

Suddenly I feel so sleepy. I can't keep my eyes open. Sleep refuses to take no as an answer. The terrible thing about it is that it has such bad timing. Or am I the one with terrible timing? I am not sure anymore.

Sleep is claiming me as it's own, and maybe it's better that way. Maybe I am not ready to tell him the truth yet. After the giants, I thought I should. I don't want to die without being honest with my self, with him. Honesty, such a scary thing.

I am falling into the depths that I don't want to reach. Shadows are everywhere. Why am I afraid of my own shadow? Why am I so afraid of everything? Of living? Of being free? Of falling?

Why is it so dark in here? I need to find him. There is only one way to be free. It's to take risks, to say your truths no matter what. People might not like them, but who cares. I have to be free. This time it means to tell him how I feel.

I just wish I knew how to find a way out of this house, it's like a maze. Every room looks the same. He is nowhere to be found, and yet I can feel him. He is so close. It feels like, if I reach out, I might be able to touch him.

Maybe if I manage to grab on to his hand, I will finally be able to find my way back to him. Then I will finally tell him my truth. If his truth is not the same, that's okay. I'll find a way to walk away.

Sometimes it's all too much. Too bright. Too dark. Both and neither. My heart feels like it doesn't know what it's doing. It's scared of fear itself and that has it tied down. Unable to move. Why can't I move?

I know that if somehow, against all odds, I manage to reach him, and tell him what I think, how I feel, maybe, just maybe, I will feel good. Maybe, he can make all my fears go away, help me enjoy life like I used to in my early childhood. He might be able to teach me.

All these wonders make me so happy, but then suddenly a cloud appears and turns the most wonderful day into one filled with rain. I love the rain, but sometimes when there is rain, I am not okay.

I am back to who I am at the core, scared girl in pain, who hides behind the facade of a carefree, happy girl even from herself. I've convinced even myself that I am someone much happier than I truly am.

People don't see.

People don't know.

Behind the brightest smile, the biggest sadness lies.

I didn't see.

I didn't know.

How truly broken I was until I found myself all alone in this neverending house.

Lost.

Looking for someone to find me.

I've always been strong, but right now, I need someone. Someone to hug me and tell me that it will all be okay, but all I have are empty rooms and the feeling that I cannot stay. I have to get away from here.

If I find the way out, if I find him, maybe we can help each other find the light. Escape the shadows. I need help, but there is no one to ask help from.

Find me! I am lost!

But maybe... maybe if I try hard enough... if I do my best... Maybe we can find each other.

I can feel something! It's warm and comforting. I can feel the fingers intertwining with mine. Is it possible? Have I finally found him? Did my effort pay off?

The touch is becoming more real with every second. I can feel him here, but where is here? I am no longer in the labyrinth of a house, but where am I? Where are WE? I can see him now, where moments ago there was nothing but gray vastness with no end.

"Ignacio?"

"It's me. Where are we?" I can hear his voice and mine dancing together in an echo that the endless field of gray shouldn't have.

"There is something I need to tell you," I say even though the echo drives me crazy.

"Later. We will have time to talk when we figure this out." He says.

"What if we don't? What if this is it? I don't want to go before telling you the truth."

"What truth?" He says as he comes closer to me our hands still together as one.

He knows. I can feel it in every bone of my body. But do I want him to know? Do I want to tell him? I am such a coward!

"You know, don't you?"

"Know what?" He says coming even closer to me.

He wants me to say it. It's like he needs to be sure. He needs to hear the words that I am not sure I can say. Even when faced with death, I am afraid of talking about how I feel. Is that even possible? To be so afraid of something and yet at the same time want it so much? It is. That's exactly how I feel.

His eyes. They are begging me to say it. Do they want me to say it? Is that why his body is so close to mine? Is that why I can hear his heart hammering away in his chest although I can hear no other sounds now that neither of us is talking?

"I... I wanted to tell you... I mean, what I feel is... I wanted to tell you what I feel..."

"Please. Tell me. I need to hear it. I need to know this is real. I know it and you know it, just say it." He says.

I am determined now to say it. He needs me to prove this is real, that I am real. When it was only about me, I could've kept quiet, but I can't fail him. This is the first time he has ever asked anything from me. I will tell him.

"Ignacio, since the moment I saw you, I was intrigued. As I started to get to know you, you made me feel more emotions than anyone has in a long time. Most of the time, you drive me crazy and yet you are one of the most genuine people I have ever met. I've seen you grow on this journey. I've grown with you. What I see before me is a man who is good at heart and who is trying his best to fight his demons which is all we can really do.

If I am being honest with myself and with you, since the first moment I saw you there was a spark. You've made an impression on me, and as we went along on this long journey, you left an impression on my heart. Your loyalty to your friends, the need to protect others, even your stubbornness led me to this moment, to what I need to tell you. I think I am falling in love with you."

The words have barely left my mouth, and already they are substitute by something much more desirable, Ignacio's lips. It is not a gentle first kiss that I've heard so much about in the movies. It is a fiery kiss that would be able to melt ice. Icebergs would melt from the passion of the kiss he gave me much faster than global warming could get them.

There is passion. There is desire. Everything that I have ever wanted is here. It's happening right now, right here. Where ever here is.

Hearts hammering. Lips dancing the salsa of love. Just me and him, in that one precious moment. One second, that might as well be eternity.

His hand cupping my face is so gentle while the kiss is anything but. It's deep. It's strong. It's us. We're free.