Hermitcraft Stuff - S6 Oneshots

Area 77 Shenanigans

(I had a lot of fun writing this. Scar is catching up to Grian and Ren in the alter ego category. I might do a part two to this when Grian and the others put out their next episode. I hate cliffhangers.)

"Alright, that's it, everyone in a straight line!"

Captain Angry Eyes tried to get everything under control. The snakeskin maps, the fighter jets on fire—how did Doc expect him to handle it all?

"You there! What do you think you're doing?" The captain pointed to a man in a black suit. "We need to watch the hippies, who knows what they're up to, and you're over here holding a Lag-O-Matic. What are you even doing?"

"Sorry, captain," The man said, nodding a little in his direction. "Top secret business. Nothing to worry about."

Angry Eyes sighed and massaged his temples. Where was Doc? They were supposed to meet up an hour ago. He'd better not be messing with the aliens again.

He turned around and was greeted by a ghastly sight. "For goodness sake, who left all those chest monsters here?"

"Sorry, sorry," Scar said, rushing out from the hangars. "I promise I'll get it fixed."

"Did you remember to mob proof my headquarters?"

"I still don't understand why you couldn't build it yourself," Scar muttered. "I have stuff to do. Cherry to restock. Things to build."

There was a hissing sound behind them. Scar and Angry Eyes whirled around to see Bob the Creeper destroy all the shulker boxes. Scar whined a little. "Oh, no...that was my white concrete."

Angry Eyes' eyes twitched a bit. "You know what? It's fine. Everything's fine. I'm going to check on the hip...what is that? Why is there a giant RV in the sky?"

"Hey, Angry Eyes!" A voice called. Fashionably late, Doc had finally arrived.

"Where have you been, and what are you wearing?" Angry Eyes asked impatiently.

"None of your business," Doc said, trying to look good in the black suit and sunglasses.

"Please don't tell me you're in cahoots with that guy in the other black suit."

"No," Doc said, clearly lying.

"You know what? Whatever. We'll talk later. For now, why don't we talk about THE GIANT RV IN THE SKY?"

Doc looked up, finally noticing the RV. "Oh my gosh."

Angry Eyes sighed. "See why I needed you? Stop messing around with the Lag-O-Matics and help me! Those Hippies are up to something."

Doc sighed. He was used to Angry Eyes' rants. "Can it wait?"

"Oh, gee, can the giant RV wait?!"

"I'm gonna take that as a no."

"It's not every day you see something like that flying in the air!" The captain said, waving his arms around. "It's clear that something is being planned. Not to mention the GIANT COUNTDOWN CLOCK!"

"Fine, fine, I'm coming," Doc said, trailing Angry Eyes. The creeper hybrid tried to listen patiently as Angry Eyes complained about all the things that went wrong.

—————

"You WHAT?! What is—I—"

Angry Eyes had taken one day, ONE DAY, off from work, and came back to see that the giant RV had given birth, there were flowers everywhere, a HIB member was sneezing like there was no tomorrow, and the RV's offspring was lodged into the cliff.

"I take one day off and THIS happens?!" Angry Eyes shouted, gesticulating at everything he could see. 

Scar nervously wrung his hands. "Um...also, there's something else you should know."

Angry Eyes sighed. "Why am I not even surprised..."

"The nuclear reactor...and the time machine...aheh...they're gone." Scar said the last part quickly as if to get it over as soon as he could.

The general's eyes twitched. He sighed loudly. "I'm fine. I'm fine. WHY WAS THIS NOT BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION?"

"I wasn't here yesterday!" Scar protested. "If you want answers, ask the HIB!"

The HIB sneezed loudly. "There's a hole in the tunnel wall that leads to S4."

"There's WHAT?" Scar yelped. "My build!"

"And--achoo!--in the hole, there was a tunnel...a tunnel that led straight to the Hippie camp. They've been tunneling--achoo!--under our noses for weeks." The HIB said, rubbing his nose. "And all these flowers are giving me allergies. A-achoo!"

"And where are the Hippies now?" Angry Eyes asked, trying to be patient.

"Hey, Angry Eyes?" Doc's voice rang out. "We just checked the security footage for S4. Villager Grian is still there, but the Hippies...entered the time machine...and now they're gone."

Doc hid his face in his hands, groaning. "How did we not see this?"

"Because someone was more interested in making their house look good instead of security." Scar muttered. The HIB sneezed again.

Angry Eyes stormed out of the surveillance room and grabbed a pair of Elytra and some rockets.

"Capt, where are you going?"

"To find those Hippies. What else?"

"But they're probably not even in our time period--"

Angry Eyes took off before anyone else could say anything.

Doc sighed. "Alright, who's going after him?"

Scar and the HIB pointed unanimously to the creeper hybrid.