You Are So Beautiful To Me...

Chapter 26

Lauren's pov

Have you ever felt your heart feel so full and so happy?

Like it could never break for people you love unless you give them the power to...

Camila made me feel things I hadn't. She made me piece together something in me that I didn't know I was missing until I met her. The night I told her I loved her at my mother's home. I was certain I have never spoken such truest words as I did that night.

She makes me feel so happy most days that all I had to do was think about her and i could smile like an idiot all day until I saw her again...

If i felt like that, then why is the thought of her hurt so much now? Why do I feel like my hearts been broken into pieces I can't put back together, like my heart in my throat preventing me to speak.

That i'm here as my friend held me as tight as she could as I sobbed into her shirt. That the tears coming down my face almost seemed endless. That i felt like things fell apart so fast and I had no clue what to do but spin in circles because the pain i felt now felt like i was a rollercoaster of conflicted emotions.

I don't think I've ever felt such a painful feeling in my life then I did right now. I remembered a time when I was a kid riding my bike that my uncle and mother got me, i remember being so excited to finally get something i asked for. But later that day I managed to fall off my bike riding around on it and breaking my arm.

I remember crying out for my mother and telling her how much it hurt, not being able to stop crying until she made the pain go away. It hadn't for a while and I had to wear a cast but I recall my mom being there and telling me it was going to be okay and how it'll get better. And eventually it did.

This is how tht pain felt, but 10 times worse and somehow got worse as time passed.

It was like I was watching the world move so fast and slow at the same time but i couldn't care less about the world right now. All I wanted to do was.....actually I didn't know what to do. What or where I wanted to go. But if there was one thing I knew, it was to be far away from this place as possible.

It was like my body had it's mind of its own as my mind was racing of what to feel what to believe and just going blank as if in shock. I felt like all my emotions were blocked off from pumping to my heart and letting me feel anything.

I don't know when I got into my car and I don't remember going over to Dinah's house but the one thing i don't remember was when the pain started, when tears filled my eyes, when arms wrapped around me as I sobbed in the most painful way.

I cried for i don't know how long but when I could calm down a little, I hadn't fully calmed down but my tears subsided into sniffles. Dinah watched me with a look of sympathy and that made me feel worse because I know she couldn't really do anything to help but be there and that was enough for me.

She didn't dare ask me how i was or felt because I obviously looked a mess, but she knew me well enough to know that i would explain everything. It just took me longer in this sense because I didn't want to think about what happened.

"Lo what happened?" she spoke softly holding me close and I couldn't help but cry harder as my mind thought back at what happened.

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Earlier today

A few days ago me and Camila spent new years together, but instead of it just being us two we decided that we could have the girls come over to my place and have a little get together and countdown to the new year.