𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌 || 𝖄𝖔𝖔𝖓𝖒𝖎𝖓

~thirty~

Tears blur his vision, though he doesn't know if they're of pain, anger or frustration. 

His throat hurts, though he doesn't know if it's because of his choked down breaths and sobs, or the fingers he stuck down his throat to get them out. 

He welcomes the darkness, not because he can't fight it anymore, but because he doesn't want to anymore. 

-

~1 Hour Earlier~

Yoongi sits up on the bed, looking around the room. He doesn't remember falling asleep, he's a little hungover and disoriented. On the bed next to him lies Seokjin, fast asleep, so he assumes the other three are in the next room. 

Yoongi fishes his phone out of his pocket to check what time it is. 1:01 a.m., his phone flashes.

Knowing he won't be able to fall back asleep, Yoongi swings his legs off the bed, slips on his shoes and walks over to the door. 

 He opens it slowly, as to not make too much noise and shuts it quietly behind him. 

Yoongi fishes his cigarettes and lighter out of his hoodie pocket, lighting it up immediately. A light breeze blows, making him shiver and he mentally curses Jimin for taking his jacket and not giving it back when he asked. 

He rakes his eyes over the lot, finding a car next to Seokjin's that wasn't there earlier. He pauses when he sees an unmistakable figure perched on the trunk of his friend's car.

Yoongi observes him for a second before walking over. "This seems familiar."

On hearing his voice Jimin jumps a little and turns to look at him, smiling when his eyes land on Yoongi. "Oh, hey, darling. Thought you'd come around," he says, and scoots aside, making place for him.

Yoongi huffs out a laugh and sits down next to him, "Yeah?"

Jimin nods wordlessly. A quick glance at the boy tells Yoongi that the younger is possibly still a little drunk. Well, he was the one who drank the most out of them. "Didn't sleep did you?," Yoongi asks, already knowing the answer. 

"Nah," Jimin replies, "It's just one of those days," he says vaguely and leans back against the rear windscreen, pulling his feet up.

Yoongi takes a deep drag of his cigarette and blows it out, watching it dissolve into the chilly winter air, "What's that mean?"

Jimin sighs and doesn't answer. He shifts until he's comfortable and tugs on Yoongi's sleeve 'til he leans back next to him. Yoongi tries not to stiffen when he feels Jimin's body press into his side.

Above them, the inky blue sky is blanketed by thick clouds, the stars hidden, but the moon still shines brighter than ever. It's silent, save for the sound of Yoongi's cigarette smouldering away and Jimin's quiet breaths. The neon pink and blue sign of the motel reflects on their skin, painting it. The occasional car, motorbike and truck lazily rolls past the lot. The city lights of Haeundae twinkle in the near distance. 

"Darling?," Jimin's voice breaks the silence. Yoongi hums around his cigarette to let him know he's listening. 

"Why'd you leave like that earlier?," Jimin asks, voice careful and quiet. He fiddles with the rips in Yoongi's jeans tentatively.  

Yoongi shrugs. "Felt tired," he answers. It's not a lie, just not the whole truth either. 

Jimin sighs like he knew Yoongi was going to say these exact words, Yoongi tries not to feel bad. "Well, you missed Jungkook and Jin hyung belting out Twice and the pikachu plushie being run over by a jeep. Oh, and Tae said he'd hook up with you for 20,000 won."