Roses And Thorns

Chapter 44

She sat at the waiting benches trembling, Naz had gone to take her some coffee, she thought of all the possibilities of her being pregnant and felt like dying, she can't be pregnant, she said a silent prayer, dear God not now, she still has dreams to accomplish and she's not ready to be a mother again, yet.
Naz came back and handed her coffee, she smiled and took a sip waiting for the results, she was so scared, he just held her in his arms calmly.
"It's okay amore, I'm ready for anything, if it's a baby we'll take good care of him together".
She wanted to say okay but failed, her heart was racing, she felt like she was having a panic attack or a nervous breakdown.
"Karen Moretti?".
She stood up quickly and went to the poor doctor who just smiled and that was bad, so bad.

They entered the doctor's room and she looked at the results which were in the doctor's hands.
"There's nothing to worry about Karen, everything is okay, the results of the pregnancy test are negative".
She released a breath she didn't know she has been holding, she looked at Naz who looked disappointed, he's in his mid 30s that's why, but whatever.
The doctor confirmed that she has indeed caught a bug, he shut the car door and started the engine, he paused and looked at her.
"I really was hoping it was going to be positive amore, I don't know but...having a baby with you will be my greatest happiness".
She swallowed hard, "Uh..me too Naz but, shouldn't we wait until we're finally married?".
He nodded, "But I'd still have been happy even if you got pregnant now amore, I really think that it's time we talk about it".
"About the wedding?".
"No, the baby".
She opened her mouth but no words came out, a baby, with Ignazio?.
"If your father can't accept us, maybe he will accept his grandchild".
Bad, bad, bad idea.
If she gets pregnant with his child her father might murder them all, he doesn't know what he's dealing with at all.
"Um....can we just go home?".
He smiled, "Sorry baby, I forgot that you're sick, let's pass by and take some groceries, I came straight to your apartment after my trip".

And he cooked for her, lunch, dinner and everything, she felt guilty but it was of no use.
She woke up on the next day alone and went to brush her teeth, she finished and took her contraceptive pills, she opened and was to take one till his hands engulfed hers.
"Amore, let's try to have a baby".
She turned and looked at him, puzzled,
"Naz, we should talk about this first".
He shook his head and pulled her to bed, they sat together, "I love you amore, you love me, I feel like, we should take this to the next level...amore, I'm not getting any younger".
She took a deep breath, "I... understand Naz, I do, but....I think it'll be best if I go for check ups first, I had a forced miscarriage years back, I want everything to be perfect, okay baby?".
He nodded and hugged her, "I love you so much my love, you're all I have sweetheart".
"Love you more Naz".

Few days later Karen was in her parent's house, her father was just starring at her, she tried to get him to talk to her but failed.
"Daddy".
He looked at her in a way a predator looks at Its prey, she wanted to apologise for what?, she didn't even know for sure.
"Daddy please, I'm sorry Naz is sorry too".
He shook his head and left, she shed a tear, she's always disappointing her father always and she didn't know how to rectify that.
She talked to her mother who was also sad and went to her apartment, she opened and found lilies inside again, she sighed, you'd think she'd have gotten used to it by now but no, the messages and lilies, everywhere, she was obliged to delete each thrice a day.

This time, there was a note as usual but shorter

I miss you
Ian..

She sat on the floor and looked at the lilies, she took the bouquet and smelled them, they smelled like Ian's perfume, tears burned down her cheeks, she tore them apart angrily and cried, he shouldn't be doing this!.
'I hate you!!!!, I hate you Ian Vasiliev!!!, fuck you!!!!!, you ruined my life!!!!".