ATEEZ Say My Name | Oneshot BoyxBoy

53. San x Seonghwa

Story plot: Seonghwa is trying his best to complete the missions with full passion, but he feels so awkward filming himself. The harder he tries, the more frustrated he gets with himself. He's feeling insecure and he has no idea if he's doing the right things at this point. When San hears Seonghwa scream in his pillow after a while, he decides to check on him.

Seonghwa paces around his bedroom, trying to force himself to start filming. He has no problems filming when the others are around, but he feels so awkward to be alone in his room and film. He wants to make perfect messages for ATINY and he doesn't want them to come across as forced or fake, he wants them to be as realistic as possible.

He grabs the note from the windowsill and looks at all the tiny messages he has to film. Maybe he should just start with an easy one, one that he'll be able to do for sure. He grabs his camera and picks one that he feels most comfortable filming.

As he finishes recording he sighs, because it didn't work out the way he wanted it to.

If I can't even film the one that I do feel confident about, how am I suppose to film everything else without making it cringy or have it turn out to be a complete flop?! Why do the others seem to have no problem filming at all? Okay well maybe Yeosang, he doesn't like these things either. But at least he always manages to make it look amazing. And look at me. Awkwardly sitting here with my camera, trying to figure out what I'm going to do.

"I need to pull myself together and just do it." Seonghwa mumbles to himself as he grabs the camera and records the same message over and over again, but never feeling fully satisfied with the results.

He grabs the note once again, staring at the other ways he's suppose to film the message. He groans and throws the paper to the other side of the room. He'd rather walk across that bridge again than having to shoot all these mini clips. Not because he doesn't love to do this for his ATINY, but because it's making him feel really self-concious.

He just wishes his boyfriend would be here with him, but San said he couldn't film when someone was around. He forces himself up from the bed to grab the note he threw away earlier.

I can do this. I know I can. I just have to take a deep breath and film. ATINY does love me and I know they will love whatever kind of content I put out there. I shouldn't compare myself to the others. We're all different individuals. I can do this.

After trying to film about 20 more times, Seonghwa is getting more and more frustrated. It's just not working out and he becomes more awkward with every recording he's trying to make.

He grabs his pillow and screams loudly into it, trying to muffle his screaming. At this point, he just wants to give up and forget about this mission.

There is a gentle knock on the door, followed by a very familiar voice. "Seonghwa hyung, baby can I come in?" It's San. Finally. When Seonghwa doesn't reply, San enters his boyfriends bedroom. "Hwa?" San makes his way over to the bed where Seonghwa is still sitting with his faced pressed firmly into the pillow.

San sits down next to his boyfriend, trying to remove the pillow from his boyfriends face. "Baby what's wrong?" San finally manages to remove the pillow and places his hand on Seonghwa's cheek slightly forcing him to look him in the eye. "Is it the filming?" San asks carefully and Seonghwa nods.

He moves next to his boyfriend on his bed, wrapping his arms around the older. Seonghwa instantly relaxes into San's arms, nuzzling his head onto his chest. San rests his lips on his boyfriends head, softly brushing his arm to make the older feel calm and comfortable. "Thank you." Seonghwa whispers, creating a small smile on San's lips. "You're welcome."