52 weeks of positivity (kinda)

Crushes on my friends

I'm sick of having crushes on all my friends
You can blame it on being bi
But mostly into girls
In an all girls school.
It just feels like I can never be truly comfortable
Because I just don't know when the next crush will hit in
It can literally be anyone
Which means yes I have a lot of choices
But I'm stuck with a barrier of when I say "I have crush on everyone"
They always say, or at least think
What about me?
And sometimes I don't even realise I have a crush
I just think they have a crush on me for like no reasons
Wait whoops
I just have a crush on them
So I have to play detective games on my brain to figure out who I'm gonna act weirdly around today

This way, it means I have a choice
On who I want to commit to having a crush on or not
But after what I referred to to my therapist
As a "traumatic start to dating"
I like can't get past the initial feeling
There is this and that
Which makes them the wrong candatide to invest my emotions in
Yeah I know it's unhealthy
But I only just realised
How the hell am I meant to fix it right on the spot

And because I'm not definitely sure I don't have crushes on boys
I look at them like (hmmmmmmm)
Wanting to catch the one that breaks the trend

I just wish I could get more comfortable in myself
Figure out what having a crush means to me
The maybe genuinely believe that someone whose not screwed can like me back
Because I sure as hell like them
Whoever they are
It's all probabilty

Notes
This poem is a tiny bit of bullshit but most of the poems I wrote this week were, oh well I tried. Hope u guys are having a good week.