52 weeks of positivity (kinda)

Falling

Snow is falling

Falling

Falling

Along with my hopes of this English lesson staying on track

We've got exams coming up!

We don't have time to waste.

My classmates staring out the window at the incoming snow

Gasping, drooling, 5 year olds.

Idiots!

Or maybe I need the distraction

To stop my eyes being drawn to you

Three rows in front

On my left side

The back of your head, the most I see of you now

Your perfectly uniformed bobbed silky brown hair

Stopping just high enough so I can catch a glimpse of your neck

I used to love running my hands through your hair

You'd always fuss, annoyed that I messed up

I loved the thrill of getting into trouble.

You turns around and I catch a glimpse of your face

And it stings, like brushing past a stinging nettle

You don't even realise that it happened till 5 secs later and it feels like your hand is on fire

You turned around to join a group of people chatting

You were never interested in socialising before,

I think grumpily.

I got so lost in my pain that i forgot to look away

And for a second your eyes catch mine,

I turn away quickly

To julie

My friend

Those words i havnt been able to mean in a very long time.

Snow is falling

Parents start to arrive to pick up their children

Julie is one of the first to go

I don't join in any of the other conversations

For once not running head first into the noise

Not when your there

To find a meaning in my actions

Which i can't control,

Like a writer can't control the meaning we find in their work

I remember we used to swap meanings

First ones related to the text

Then, ones we would find on our own.

Snow is falling

Falling

Falling

As is falls our numbers dwindle

Concerned parents rushing to pick their 'darling babies up'

So far no one has come for either of us

We both are used to feeling left behind.

I feel itchy all over

I want to do something