52 weeks of positivity (kinda)

Money

When I was born, I got the jackpot

To be born in England

In a rich middle-class family.

Though I didn't realise it at first

Because in primary school we all came from the same neighbourhood

So expensive holidays every summer felt like the norm.

Then a state secondary school,

Where the range of backgrounds massively increased

And I never wanted to be the rich kid.

So I kept quiet about my new iPad at Christmas

And our April holiday to Lanzarote,

We would barely go over to my house

As it just felt too awkward.

I felt I had to downplay everything

even straight out lying about my Christmas presents

To justify the injustice

And to try and ease my guilt for being born lucky.

But I wonder how much money really makes you happy

Honestly most of the holidays make me anxious

The iPad take over too much of my life

The kids in Uganda,

Now they seemed happy

They have one outfit they wear every day,

No shoes.

But they live their life,

Properly live.

Scorning at us with our ideas of happiness.

Sure, it's definitely not perfect.

Cough, being gay is illegal

Cough, girls have children at 16

But I think they are closer to us to happiness

Even though ignorance plays a big part in it.

Even writing this poem

Makes me sound like a spoilt little rich kid

Who never earned a penny of their money

And like its not all in my head

I've literally heard one of my "friends" say this behind my back

Well I didn't ask to be born here either

I feel all the guilt for money I didn't, could've of earned

Because I'm fucking 16

I can't even ask my charity-paid therapist

The best one I ever had

If she does private sessions

Because I feel too guilty

Its all so difficult and hard

See, 

spoilt rich kid^

notes:

im not sure how contrivorshal this poem is, if any of this offends anyone please tell me and ill change it or we can talk about it. Its an eh poem. The ending could be neater but i like the line"to justify the injustice" Hope you guys are having a good week