52 weeks of positivity (kinda)

My Moo's

I miss my moo's
I left them at home
Not on purpose
But when my mum heard
She said '
"What a big girl you've become"
And I convinced myself I could survive with soft things of the same size
As I had only twice before
Once away at Camp for a night,
Used a pillow.
Once at my grandmas, but I was young enough I still had other toys to sleep with
But still kinda too old to have other toys with me to sleep with,
No one told me when to stop
Most people by now decided it was embarrasing and then stopped
I never found it embarrassing
And I try not to now.
I just get so emotionally connected to things
My moos
Sometimes my Partners in crime
Sometimes My future children
Who I used to make up games with until I fell asleep.

My "best friend " in primary said they weren't real
And proceeded to use them as stepping stones in her imaginary games
Afterwoulds I cried and hugged them better.

When I had a fight with my mum when she told me they weren't real,
She told me my friends parents were getting divorced,
The first people I knew to complete that procedure
But definitely not the last.

Now I've got a jumper roughly the right size
So it still feels like they are there
But I wake up in the night and I can tell they aren't here, and I wish they were
I don't know why I sometimes tuck them nicely so they are not hurt during the day
I don't know why if I kiss one I have to kiss them all
I don't know why I can't put them in a box
But if I had to guess
It's because:
16 year old,
Right brain,
Hides emotions,
Me.
Still believes they are real.

Notes:
Guys we are nearly there, I'm really proud of this poem. Though I wrote it in the middle of the night and haven't re read it since then so we will see how it really goes.