I love you

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the first time I said "I love you"

not plantonically

I didn't mean it

it was just peer pressure disguised as

trying to make her happy


my friend have got into the habit of saying it to eachother

both seriously and unseriously

lov u, I love you

All platonic

but I have to choke it out of myself to say it back


its just

I don't know if I mean it

I am fond of them

I like them a lot

but I don't know why we need to define so far like 2 years of friendship 

in our 80 year lives as love

because I don't think we've got there yet


I love my sister

I never feel any physical boundaries between us

its always seamless from when she ends to where I begin

She feels like an extra limb of mine

I don't need to filter words before I say them

because the only boundary between us is age

and I don't follow that one as much as I should

"yes dad this film is totally appropriate for her"


I feel mean when I don't say it back to my friends

you can feel the gap in the conversation where its supposed to be

but if we've got limited life

we've got limited love

and I don't want to use "I love you"

like I use sorry.

So that it means: "I just want you to be happy"

As that what it meant the first time.


notes

AHHH EXAMS. I think I've got everything under control, hopefully. I'm not a fan of this ones ending. It also shows me as snobbier then I am. to be like I'm sorry friends I just don't feel the same way. I do like them all. Just as this age not ready to use love yet.Hope your having a nice week :)




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