the first time I said "I love you"
not plantonically
I didn't mean it
it was just peer pressure disguised as
trying to make her happy
my friend have got into the habit of saying it to eachother
both seriously and unseriously
lov u, I love you
All platonic
but I have to choke it out of myself to say it back
its just
I don't know if I mean it
I am fond of them
I like them a lot
but I don't know why we need to define so far like 2 years of friendship
in our 80 year lives as love
because I don't think we've got there yet
I love my sister
I never feel any physical boundaries between us
its always seamless from when she ends to where I begin
She feels like an extra limb of mine
I don't need to filter words before I say them
because the only boundary between us is age
and I don't follow that one as much as I should
"yes dad this film is totally appropriate for her"
I feel mean when I don't say it back to my friends
you can feel the gap in the conversation where its supposed to be
but if we've got limited life
we've got limited love
and I don't want to use "I love you"
like I use sorry.
So that it means: "I just want you to be happy"
As that what it meant the first time.
notes
AHHH EXAMS. I think I've got everything under control, hopefully. I'm not a fan of this ones ending. It also shows me as snobbier then I am. to be like I'm sorry friends I just don't feel the same way. I do like them all. Just as this age not ready to use love yet.Hope your having a nice week :)
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