Blood Moon

part 28

Amy's point of view

"Eat goddamit! Why won't you eat? It's not good for you. You're going to make yourself ill" Emily screamed when she saw the paper plate still had the bacon sandwich on, the bread soggy from being left to soak up all the cold bacon's fat. The tomato ketchup looking too much like blood.
But I wouldn't eat.
This is the only way I can fight against her. That voice in my head has turned from a whisper to a shout, and sometimes I forget that she's my captor.
Sometimes I want her to bend down so I can kiss her lips.
So my body is the only way I can fight.
If I hurt what she loves, maybe, just maybe she will come to her senses and leave me alone. Let me get back to my life of corners. Corners and books and cheap chocolate. Simple times, where yes, I wasn't happy, but I wasn't trapped.
Problem was, I was so hungry. So, so hungry.
But I didn't look at her, nor acknowledge her shouts or pleas. I hadn't eaten in two days, and I've learnt that her threat of feeding me herself is just as empty as my heart now.
"Amy. Why, why are you being so difficult? Do you not understand why I'm doing this? For us. I'm doing this for us. I know everything about you, everything. I am the only one that understands you, I am the only one that really cares for you. Yet you reject me out of some misguided belief that what I'm doing is wrong. I'm making it so we can be together. I'm making it so you will never have to sit in your bed at night, looking at the ceiling, thinking to yourself 'why am I alive when nobody wants me?'"
My face must have revealed something because she smiled her small, knowing smile. But she was right. How was she right?
Those nights, lying awake, imaging my body in front of the mirror.
Those nights thinking how much better my brother's life would be if I wasn't there, draining all his money away.
Thinking to myself why the hell am I still here.
"Amy. I know because I have them too. Every night. Amy. I know. I know you better than anyone. We are the same, you and me. Two lonely souls, souls whose only companionship is with each other." She had knelt down, cupping my face gently in her hands.
Listen to her. Listen.
"You are all I have. Amy. You are the only reason I am still living my life before you was just being, well alive. You make me want to live. You are the reason I sleep at night. You are the reason why I'm glad that I was turned into a vampire. So I could live long enough to kiss you."
I wanted her. She was so close, her lips so close to me. Just a slight lean forward.
Do it. She's right. She's so right. Please listen to her. Please. She loves you. You love her.
I spent every ounce of my remaining will power keeping myself away from her.
"Eat" she whispered, moving away from me after a couple of hard seconds.
But I didn't.
She looked at me and sighed.
Then left, returning a few minutes later with a glass of water.
"Then at least drink this." She said handing me the glass.
I took it and drank it all without hesitation.
"Wha - what's happ - happening?" I slurred.
The world was spinning and tilting. My mind was melting and my eyes closing.
"Sleeping drugs, of my own invention.  Don't worry they're safe. Goodnight Amy. Sleep well"
And with that, I fell into the black. My last thoughts were how I so wanted to kiss those lips...