Personal Body Guard - (Shawn Mendes)

108

"So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go"

-

*Emily's Point Of View*

It had been two weeks since beautiful Skylar had entered this world and it had been a wonderful yet crazy and eventful two weeks. I was so grateful to have her in my life... but I was getting zero to no sleep.

I probably had only slept eight hours in these past two weeks. Shawn and I had taken turns in getting up to cradle her back to sleep but most of the time she was hungry and obviously I could only cure her hunger.

I laid against the back of the couch as Shawn and I had our new weekly movie night. We thought it was a good thing to add to the heavily filled schedule to make sure we made time for the both of us.

His arm wrapped firmly around my shoulder as my head continuously kept falling into his chest from dozing off.

"Agh, sorry" I said running my hands over my face as I sat up straight.

"Don't be sorry... we've had a stressful two weeks" he said rubbing his hand up and down the side of my arm softly.

"I'm so over this. I can't sleep and I just want to go away for a bit" I said sighing loudly, placing my face in my hands as my elbows rested on my knees.

"Hey, come on... don't think like that-" Shawn started, placing a hand on my back comfortingly.

I shrugged his hand off my back as I stood up, "Shawn, you don't understand what I'm going through. I'm so fucking sleep deprived it's killing me physically and mentally. I love Skylar and I would do anything for her but I'm so fucking drained. I-I can't" I said before collapsing on the floor in a fit of loud sobs.

I saw Shawn immediately jump off the couch and sit down in front of me, his hand instantly finding the sides of me and pulling me into his lap so I could cry into his chest.

We stayed like that for a while. Just sitting in his lap as he softly swayed side to side, pressing kisses to my temple and forehead every now and then as I continued to drench his white T-shirt in my tears.

My lip quivered as my sobs came to a halt and I was just a sniffling mess.

"God..." I mumbled into his chest thinking about how much of a bitch I was acting.

"Hey don't worry about it" he whispered pressing another kiss to my temple.

"I'm sorry" I whispered. "You're so good to me".

"It's okay" he said sternly looking into my eyes.

I nodded biting down on my lip.

"It's not though... You have been woken up the same amount of times as I have and you don't sleep until I get back. Most of the times you come with me... I've been such a bitch lately and I'm sorry. I don't mean for it" I said softly tracing random patterns into his chest.

He softly grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together.

"It's. Okay. I knew what I signed up for... I'm going to be here for you through everything. Through the two am wake ups from Skylar, the sleep deprevation and my extremely emotional but amazing fiancé" he said making my eyes instantly well up with tears.

"I love you" I said resting my head against his chest.

"I love you too. More than you know it" he said pressing his lips to the top of my head making me shut my eyes for a split second and smile, savouring the feeling.

"I don't know why I'm so emotional and hormonal... it's not like me" I said softly in confusion.

"It could be lead ups to post-natal depression. Mom told me she went through the same thing and to expect it with you... you just need to think positively and give yourself some time. It's hard. I understand, this a new thing for both of us and the first month will be hard. But just think it's going to be so worth it when we have a beautiful little girl running around the house who will soon be a hormonal teenager slamming doors in our faces. Think about how in just three months you are going to be walking down the aisle to finally seal the deal and become stuck with me for the rest of your life" he said making me laugh at the end as he ran his fingers threw my hair.

"Thank you" I said looking up at him.

He looked confused which just confused me.

"Em... I'm going to be your husband. This is what I am supposed to do. I am supposed to care for you and lift you up when you're at your lowest no matter what..." he began making me smile.

"And trust me. I should be thanking you... you made one of the most beautiful creations this world has ever seen" he whispered nuzzling his nose against mine making me giggle and reciprocate.

"You mean 'we'. 'We' made one of the most beautiful creations this world has ever seen" I replied making him smile widely.

He pulled me in for a tight hug, his hands roaming around my back and arms soothingly. It wasn't in a sexual way, more of a calming and affectionate way.

Shawn's love language was always touch.

All of a sudden the sound of loud cries echoed through the halls.

I sighed softly before getting up and begin to head down the hallway, hearing Shawn's presence quickly behind me.

I softly pushed open the pink door that Shawn had painted a few days after Skylar was born.

I walked in and over to her crib, picking her up and began to rock her in my arms.

"Come on bubba... please stop crying for mommy" I whispered rubbing my fingers softly over her hand.

"Shawn can you... please" I whispered, my exhaustion really hitting me.

"Of course" he whispered as he swooped her from my arms.

"Now now Sky... your keeping mommy and daddy up. Please be a little more quiet for us princess" he said softly rocking her back and forth, her cries instantly halting.

"She hates me" I shakily let out before exiting the room and back into the lounge room. I began to stress clean and tidy up the popcorn we'd left on the coffee table.

Turning off the television, grabbing a cloth to wipe down the kitchen counters all whilst chewing down on my bottom lip to stop myself from having my second mental breakdown of the night.

"Hey... hey. Hey" Shawn said stopping me by grabbing my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"Slow down. Your stress cleaning" he said grabbing the cloth that was clenched in my hand until my knuckles were white, tossing it into the sink beside us.

I sighed resting a hand on my forehead as I leaned against the counter.

"She doesn't hate you" He said looking back up to me.

"Shawn did you not just see her. She sounded like she cried louder when I held her. But when you took her. She stopped straight away" I said moments away from bursting into tears.

"Baby, your exhaustion and need to sleep is so evident in your voice. She probably just felt a bit panicked knowing you were" he said making me breathe again as I let out a big breath.

"I'm sorry. I just need some sleep" I said running my hands over my face.

"Maybe we should pre-make some bottles for her or something. Get you a breast pump?" He suggested making my eyes light up.

Breast pumps seemed painful but if it meant a quicker and healthier alternative then I was willing to do anything.

"You're a genius baby!" I squealed jumping into his arms.

-

A/N: delving into the deeper side of after pregnancy