Bat-Family Oneshots

Another day in paradise

Bruce was sitting in his usual seat at the dining table reading his paper, just like every morning. When he hears a loud crash and some screaming upstairs. Bruce doesn't react instead he doesn't move and continues to read the new 'compelling' article written by Vikki Vale titled '18-year-old Richard Grayson top bachelor of Gotham'. When the screaming finally stops the sound of padded feet could be heard running up and down the landing. Suddenly the sound of Bruces eldest son Dick screamed "BRUCE" at the same time Alfred came in carrying a tray with a teapot and cup. Bruce looks up ignoring the sound of another crash and muffled grunting with practised ease "can you believe this, Vale has gone and put Dick in the spotlight again" 

The old butler nods "Yes I did see that Master Bruce" Neither of the adults blink an eye as Jason's voice could be heard shouting "Don't listen to him, Bruce, everything is A-OK" Alfred picks up the teapot pouring some tea into the mug, before looking up "Milk and sugar this morning? Master Bruce" Bruce nodded "Yes Please," he says over the sound of more muffled cursing and the sound of flesh hitting flesh. Alfred moves the newly made tea in front of Bruce who said "Thank you, Alfred" at the same time Damian could be heard shouting "This is all your fault, Todd!"

Bruce continues reading the stupidly long article as Alfred says "What do you plan on doing about Ms Vale?" before bruce can answer Tims exasperated voice could be heard "For the love of God, somebody put out the fire!" Bruce shrugs pretending not to hear the chaos taking place upstairs "Im not sure" there was the sound of more running and Jason shouting "I got this" Alfred says "If I could make a suggestion Master Bruce?" then there was the sound of a pipe bursting and more cursing making Bruce inwardly flinch but once again chose to ignore it as he said "Of course" Alfred nods but was interrupted by Dick panicked call "BRUUUUUCE!!! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!!!"

Neither of the men reacted as Alfred carried on talking over Jason shouting "Screw that call the justice league, Damian is on fire". "Perhaps I should prepare a meal for Ms Vale, it gives you the opotunity to have a civilised conversation" Bruce nodded "Yes that could work, ill give her a call today" Alfred nodded as the house was filled with four screams. Bruce took a sip of his tea and said blankly "Welcome to another day in paradise" the old butler with a smile says softly "Quite" and walks off whistling a happy tune to see how much mess the young masters have created and to tell them breakfast is ready.