Bat-Family Oneshots

Monitor Duty

Title: Do toxic catfish blink?
Ages
Nightwing-18 years old 
Red Hood-16 years old 

Nightwing and Red hood were currently in the monitor room of the mountin lazily sitting in the office chairs surrounded by dozens of security cameras of both Happy Harbour and the Mountain. They heard the computerised voice of the computer called out "Recognising Aqualad-B02, Recognised L'goon Boy-B18". The two brothers glanced at eachother quickly before focusing back on the screens. They watched as Kaldur walked out followed by a humanised fish.

Both Nightwing and Red Hood had the WTF faces on. "What the fuck is that?!!" Hood half screeched in horror. "Um...A catfish that fell into toxic waste?" Nightwing suggested unable to remove his gaze. "Has he blinked yet?, I haven't seen him blink yet" the younger of the two said falling further into is chair, still staring at the screen.

"Can he blink? I mean his eyes are hu-Wait look he just did, but oh man that looked painful" Nightwing said visuably wincing. "This is L'gaan he is from Atlantis" Kaldur said from the monitor "I totally couldn't tell, Could you?" Red Hood said sarcasim lacing his voice. "Hey do you think he can feel things with those things on his face?" Hood said pointing at the picture then motioning to his own face. "Maybe, he looks with his whole face" Nightwing states looking at the fishes green face. 

"Aw man i hate when people look with there whole faces, its just down right creepy" Jason says reclining in the chair as he put his feet on the desk. "You know, I had a kid in my class back when i went to Gothem Academy and he ws like 'Hey did you do your homework bro?'" Nightwing said doing a terrible impersontion of a surfer dude "And my binder was on the desk and he literally smashed his whole entair face into it" to prove his point he picked up a notepad and smashed it into his face "Like that and when i asked what he was doing he said 'im looking dude duh'" 

"Oh a smilar thing happened to me only he was the teachers pet, Why the teachers pet didn't do his homework? I will never understand" Nighting laughed as Jason looked at him in complete seriousness. "I guess we have to go meet him?" Nightwing said once he managed to calm  down enough to speak. "Aw do we have to go meet the toxic catfish he might make us sick!" Jason moaned glaring at the unblinking fish. "Unfortunatly" Nightwing breathed sadly then all of a sudden the boy screamed "NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA BATMAN!" and he ran out the room followed closly by the boy in a red helmet. 

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Title: In the halls really?
Ages
Nightwing-18 years old
(Red) Robin-14 years old

Nightwing and Robin were in the monitor room and twere watching the screens that showed the empty halls of the mountain so they were quickly flicking through the cameras in an attempt to find somthing that was of mild intrest. They gave up and sat back and relaxed allowing the camera to switch on there own. When suddently on the screen came a video of M'gann and L'agoon Boy making out against the wall. 

"Ew, that's gross, it looks like he is trying to eat her face" Red Robin voices "Why, why there is soooo many rooms in the mountain that don't have a camera in them, why are they dong it in the fucking hal, there are young kids in here" he finishes in disgust.

"I can kiss so much better then that, he's drooling all over her face, seriouly i think he's touching up her face with those whiskers" Nightwing say in response

They quickly switch off all the cameras, desiding that they have seen enough to scar them for life. They walked towards to zeta tubes and beamed themselves back to the cave. When they arrived they looked at eachother and said in synch "That was nasty" before splitting up to go and pull there eyes out and bleach there brain. 

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Title: Your on grayson!
Age
Nightwing-18 years old
Robin-10 years old 

The team had a day off and were milling around the mountain absentmindedly. Well except for two of the birds who had found there way into the monitor room and were watching as the team were standing in groups concersing. Superboy and his two pets (Sphere and Wolf) were sitting infront of a static filled screen. M'gann, Wally, Artemis, Raquel, Zatanna and L'gann were talking in the kitchen while some cookies baked. Another group was Barbra and Tim who were watching the other group that looked like all the younger males were trying to impress Stephanie.

Nightwing wheezed in laughter from were he sat on one of the office chairs next to the youngest bat. "This is hilarious"Robin sniffed and said in a superiour voice "They are idiots. they should know that they could never sway a bat"  Nightwing nodded "Plus it's not like they would have the gu-Wait look, Jamies going for it" The eldest gasped "I beat you ten quid she will speak her mind" Damian tuted "Your on Grayson, i believe she will walk away. After all she is much to busy to deal with peasants like him" 

They were on the edge  of there seats as Blue Beetle approached there sister and tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention as she turned to face him she said with a smile  "Hey Jamie, what do you need?" he struttered for a few seconds before turning red and running off leaving the blonde girl very confused. 

Nightwing and Robin sighed "Well that was boring" Nightwing said slouching in his seat "Agreed, that was the most pathetic and we live with Drake" Nightwinf nodded before he said "Want to get out of here? Alfred was making his chocolate cookies before we left" Robin sat there for a second before standing up "Yes, thishas truelly been a waste of time" and with that the two brothers left the mountain and spent the next couple of hours eating the best biscuits of all time.