Isn't it funny how mental health works. All of a sudden you're fine and then all of sudden you're not. It's funny how what works for some people won't necessarily work for you. It's funny how I somehow am stuck in that pit of emptiness and no matter what people try and tell me or try to help me nothing works. I've been on almost every mood stabilizer there is. I've tired anti depressants, I've tried CBT, I've tried DBT. I've tried it all.
Yet I'm still empty.
I've lost the motivation to care about myself. I just turned 21 and I've tried to get better for a long time yet here I am, again. I've been writing my thoughts for 3 years now and honestly I'm tired of it. I'm tired of all of it. I just want to die, I want to kill myself. But yet, I'm so scared. Is it normal to want something so badly but still be afraid? I don't have fight left in me, I don't want to help myself.
I have no feelings anymore, it's just emptiness and despair.
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The things I think of when I'm alone
PoesíaUnbearable pain that is expressed and acknowledged becomes bearable. But people who have suffered from BPD received no such responses in their childhood. Therefore, they are stuck in the past, trying to elicit what they needed as a child-validation...
