Chapter Ten

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(Cami)
My eyes roll around under my lids, where am I? Whats happening? The room smells of heavy chemicals and urine, there is a steady beeping sound next to me, my eyes slowlp part from that good sleep, my eyes focus on where I am when I realize Im at a hospital, my body is comfortably tucked in with blankets, my left arm is hooked up to a blood bag, looking down to my arms they are stitched up and only one has a bandage around it. They saved me, dang it they saved me! The reason for my now attempt was to die and stay that way!

My mouth is dry, its like almost stickey and it tastes bad, the horrible burn of my arms come through and I cringe, wow that is deep. Looking around the borning, dark, and empty room I find a small button on the barrier/hand holds. Oo button! I press it and a small smile parts on my lips, I got to press a button!

Waiting patieintly like I always do there is a small knock on my room door before a doctor comes in with a clip board. He gives me a small smile and he sits on the small butt sized, circular rolly chair and rolls up next to me. "Welcome back Trella, you gave lots of people a scare-"

"But not the doctors because Im just another 'psyco' patient who tried to 'opt out'." I say using my fingers weakly, he gives me a small appologetic look before he takes my left hand, the cloeset one to the door he just walked through.

"All our patients are important to us."

"But not me, if I was important you would have figured out I wanted to be dead and let me stay that way." His lips purse into a thin white line, he flips my arms over and examines his work, he is a piece of work thats for sure.

"Trella you've been admited to the psych ward, just for a couple of hours, seventy two."

"Because you think Im psycho." I state, he only shakes his head and I can tell I am pushing his buttons, oo new buttons!

"Thats not it-"

"Yes it is or you wouldnt have admited me. I dont care more sleep for me!" I chuckle lightly, my body is weak and my arms are pale and shakey, I just want to cut them off!

"Your stay there will be monitored and sceduled, you cant sleep the entire time, eight hours of sleep, one hour for your meals, one hour to brush your teeth and shower, three hours of games, four hours of down time, and counceling, your going to the teens section, more people with your situation."

"More people who cut and tried to die, yeah yada yada I was admited there, but last time the doctor let me sleep all day." I say patting his cheek. "If Im not going to be able to sleep all day let me do it here, I need it, now could you close the door and turn off the light on your way out?" I turn over so my back is facing him and I get all comphy and cozy and pretend to sleep so he can leave me alone, I dont want to go there! I just wanted to die and stay that way! It wasnt that hard! It was just yes Ill be saved, or no she can die because that was clearly her goal.

I hear him hesitate before he stands and leaves the room, the door clicks in its place showing its locked and I have some privacy, there is nothing sharp in here to cut open my stitches so Im stuck here, on earth, alive, like I didnt want to be. I turn back over and turn on the tv and flip to something interesting, like Supernatural, the only reason I watch it is for the sexy ness of the rolls and the people who play them.

After about two hours of watching tv there is another knock on my door, I groan and turn on my side signaling do not disturb. The door opens and there are small whispers, the curtain just before the door slides open, now that has me intrigued. I turn over on my back to see a lot of people in the room. Wow thats alot. I start to feel small again all those people that dont have my problems versus me. The girl who has daddy issues and who cuts.

"Hi Trella. How are you feeling?" Mrs. Ericson and Mr. Ericson come over to my left and she gives my left hand a light and gentle squeeze, I shrug my shoulder, what am I supposed to say? That im pissed because Im alive? Why do people ask such stupid questions? I wanted to die but when they save me you ask how Im feeling? Just perfect! "You scared us." She lightly scolds and I cant help but let a small smile tug at my lips forcing me into a small one.

Camille leaps into my arms and she starts to cry, my eyes are wide confused what to do, this is usually me doing this to her, not the other way around? "Trella I thought I would lose you!" She sobs, which strikes tears in other people, some of the people I dont even know, or recognize, if there are this many people something has to be up, something is fishy around here.

"Whats wrong? Why are you all here?" I ask them, Camille lets go and wipes her tears quickly, Mrs. Ericson sighs before sitting down next to me.

"Your brother was found dead in your fathers house last night. Im so sorry Trella." She says weakly, my heart stops, my chest stops moving, this cant happen? Did I hear her right? Anger powers through me and tears threaten in my eyes.

"He was found?"

"I had an investigator go over to the house and your dad was on the couch passed out, and your brother was on the stairs dead." She says and thats when I lose it, I scream and cry, thrashing about, this is her fault! She said she couldnt get him but she lied! She wanted him to die!

"You liar!" I scream, everyone panics trying to hold me down and to keep me calm and sane but its not working, someone leaves and doctors come running in trying to keep me still. "You wanted him to die!" I scream, tears flowing down my face steadily, they wont stop, its a never ending sorrow, my older brother, my portector, he is gone, I knew that my father would kill him if he came home empty handed. My father killed him.

"Trella calm down!" A doctor screams at me but I swing my arm up hitting him hard in the chest, the put fluffy restraints on me and jab a setitive into my neck, my body is numb and I have ne reason to cry because I cant summon any anger inside me. "We came back with the results, she has PTSD and temporary seperation anxiety, she might need to stay a few extra days so we can get her medications situated." The doctor says to Mrs. Ericson, hes gone, my protection is gone, I should have never left him, I did this to him. Its all my fault.

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Hey guys!! How did you like the chapter? Im so excited only ten chapters in and I already have 200 reads!! What? The PTSD isnt only for war, my sister has PTSD and shes fourteen, she also has the seperation anxiety, only for my mom, she cant be seperated from my mom. Its very sad to see, she is now home schooled because of it and has a hard time going to birthday parties or to church because she doesnt like being away from her. Anyways, its real, the PTSD is from the beatings and her mothers death, along with the bullying, the seperation anxiety is from her brother, she cant be seperated, if people are occupied they forget it and they cant remember. So yeah. Please COMMENT & VOTE!!!! I love you all thank you so much!!!

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