changbin was absolutely not having a good time. his father had forced him into saying yes to a dinner party with the pretentious part of his family. changbin stood out like a sore thumb next to them. they were far too formal; he enjoyed a casual setting much more than one which could rival the atmosphere of a royal dining room. attending the event meant wearing one of his uncomfortable suits to look just presentable enough to pass as part of the family.
right now, though, changbin was hiding like a coward in the bathroom recovering from a mild anxiety attack. his more talkative aunt wouldn't leave him alone. she kept drilling him about whether or not he had a girlfriend, if he was planning on settling down, if he met anyone he liked. usually, these get-togethers would breeze by for changbin. painfully slowly, yes, but he was left alone for the most part. how he craved to be left alone again for two damn seconds.
heaving out a gigantic sigh, changbin scrambled for his phone in his pocket. there was no way he was going back out in the state he was in. he needed something - anything - to distract him. to calm him down.
lix:
hey binnie hyung i just got back from uni
how's dinner??
me:
dinner could be better
lix:
why do you say that??
me:
oh y'know just
panicking in the bathroom✌✌
lix:
oh shittt what the fuckk
binnieee nooo why? :(
me:
my fucking aunt won't get off my back
lix:
kick her in the oesophagus
she deserves it for making you feel like that
me:
there isn't long left of it but i don't want to go back out
god i really really don't want to
lix:
you kind of have to don't you?
me:
i definitely have to
fuckkkk
lix:
it's okay, i'm here hyung
you're safe
you're in a bathroom
you're not in danger
you've got me
try to calm your breathing for me, yeah? in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8
me:
i'll try it
why do you always know exactly what to say to help?
that's kind of concerning
lix:
i know a lot of people who experience this i understand
changbin wasn't calming down. in fact, every time he looked away from his phone, he felt worse. his lungs were almost burning from his staggered breathing despite the exercises which only helped momentarily. before he knew it, his fingers had clicked the call button themselves.
[OUTGOING CALL: lix]
"hyung?" felix answered as soon as the phone rang.
"hey lix," changbin replied in a shaky whisper, nervously giggling. his phone was trembling as his unsteady hands hovered it next to his ear.
"talk to me, binnie..." felix pleaded.
and so, changbin did. he let out everything his aunt had been pestering him with since the minute they got there. he let out his worries, his fears, how much he was dreading unlocking the door he was cowering behind. terrified was not a thing he felt frequently before, though now he seemed to feel it more often than not. he hated it more than anything.
"i have no idea how the fuck i'm going to tell them i'm gay," changbin ended his small vent in a chuckle, earning a laugh from felix. he'd finally started to calm down.
"changbin, open the door," he heard his father angrily whisper on the other side of the door. "now."
his heart shot out of his chest. his palms were sweating like they were under a thousand degree heat, still somehow stone cold. his breathing hitched, staggered, destabilised. tears cornered his eyes as they became glazed, widened, swollen.
"fuck... i gotta go," he hung up and immediately hid his phone in his pocket, not waiting on felix's response. he checked his eyes, face, hair, hands, clothes... nothing looked too out of place. his hand's trembled, unlocking the door as quickly as he could.
"who were you talking to?" his calm words would have comforted changbin if it wasn't for the pure fury in his eyes, contrasting his tone drastically. changbin swallowed harshly. he was in deep shit this time.
"n-no one, dad. just myself," changbin spluttered, trying his best to hide his nerves with a grin.
"what were you saying to 'yourself'?" his tone grew in aggression as his patience wore thin. changbin knew deep down his dad heard him. he mentally cursed himself for being so careless. he hung his head shamefully, avoiding all eye contact. there was no point in answering a question he already knew the answer to.
"do you think i was born yesterday?! answer me, boy. i don't have time for this."
"can we please not do this here?" he begged his dad, putting up a defensive front. surprised, his father raised a brow.
"i promise, i will explain the minute we get home. but not here." he gave his best attempt at looking unaffected, but he was dreading this conversation more than words could say.
"you better explain the second we get in the door. if you dare try to escape to that room of yours, you won't know what hit you," his dad walked away, glaring directly into changbin's soul. he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding before hastily following suit. the further changbin looked into the pending night, the clearer he could see his grave.
YOU ARE READING
lamppost | changlix ✔
Fanfiction[EDITED!] unknown: hi just a tip, maybe don't put your number in weird places me: what the fuck and who the fuck? ♡ in which changbin finds felix's number on a lamppost in his street ♡ ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ • lapslock • will contain cursing • may not...
