The Losers and I

I'm sorry

"Richie-"

"I'm not letting you go back in. I don't care how much begging you do. On this day I am stronger than you. Your not getting back into that water."

"Thank you." Richie turned his head and looked at me with eyes that weren't his. I wasn't looking at Richie "trash-mouth" Tozier, this was a boy with feelings that weren't buried at the bottom. They were seeping through that cracks.

"Why? I jus-" I flung my arms around him and the tears came a lot faster than I thought they would.

In that moment two of the people known for having hard built walls, the walls weren't there. Not a joke was made. Nothing but two teens sobbing on each other while there clothes dry a few feet away.

"R-R-Richie. I'm sorry."I choked out between sobs.

"You better f***ing be. I wasn't kidding when I said I won't live without you. It doesn't work that way. Richie without Serene that's like Bill without his stutter."

"That's a very interesting comparison you got there, Tozier."

"It came from the bottom of my heart. But that also leads up to my next question."

"Yes, Rich?"

"What are we gonna tell the others?" I gasped at the question but quickly had to catch my breath.

"We don't tell them anything, it's for the best."

"What about Stan?" Quickly I let go of Richie and looked him dead in the eyes. Looking past the tears and humor. In those eyes I saw that whatever I were to say would end the same every time

"It's in your eyes that whatever I say won't matter and your gonna tell him anyways."

"He deserves to know."

"I just can't tell him. I don't have the strength."

"I don't have the strength either, but I'll find it."

"You want to do it alone?"

"That would be best, that way nothing off topic happens." In that moment I knew exactly what Richie meant when he said that. 

It means the two of the would end up meeting eyes and laughing making it seem like it was a lie. Stan would end up balling, then they would all cry. Or Richie does it by himself they have a one on one "man"conversation, where it's more surreal. But still ends with crying.

"Want to go back?" I cautiously asked Richie who looked like his entire world was ending. Once again I hugged the boy once again and layed a kiss on his forehead before rising to my feet. My hand immediately reached out and tapped Richie on the shoulder. He looked up at me with the perfect amount of broken that almost made me break down, again, right there.

Slowly Richie grabbed my hand and I pulled him to his feet.

It happened very slowly. With a lot more crying. But we finally got are bikes and bodies back to town.

"Where are you sleeping?" I turned to see Richie looking me dead in the eyes. My brain didn't want to think about it, I mean 20 an hour ago I never thought I would be going back to that place again.

"Home." My voice cracked in the middle of the sentence as I remembered what was left there.

"No, your not."

"No, I have to there'e something I need to clean up." Richie looked at me with a puzzling look. All the way back to the apartment, he made sure I got safely to, but the whole time I felt the puzzling look.