SNOW WOMAN ✓

021

021 // UNDESERVING

"so much more was said in the unsaid."

//

"how's Jungkook?"

Taehyung once again approaches Yoongi with a welcoming smile.

Yoongi welcomes him back. how can he not? his friendly nature, his brown vested jacket and necklace is hard to ignore. he's a friend, he reckons.

of course Taehyung's asking about Jungkook.

"he's good."

Taehyung hums. he tries not to make it obvious that he wants to talk about the boy, how he's doing, is he sleeping and eating well? it's obvious. "i haven't seen him in a while." the younger admits, trying not to show how sad that makes him. he misses bumping his shoulder into Jungkook's in the corridor and looking for any excuse to hold his hand, making his cheeks flush.

Yoongi thinks- he's been avoiding you that's why. "yeah he's shy. he'll open up to your charming ass soon- don't worry." the older responds. he's blunt with his words. the obvious crush being addressed makes Taehyung surprised.

Taehyung sighs. "is it that obvious?" he runs his hands through his dark, coloured hair. "i should stay away from him." he adds.

Yoongi gazes at Taehyung with a questioning look. his beige eyes seem to hold commitment, loyalty and passion. why would he stay away when he's good for Jungkook? "why's that?" he asks curiously.

Yoongi knows that people usually have bad impressions of themselves. they think they don't deserve good things when actually, they might do. simply because they deserve euphoric love. Yoongi knows because he's one of those people and he isn't proud of it.

"i don't deserve him, that's all."

Yoongi scoffs. he saw it coming. the pale, tired one thinks it's ironic that Taehyung thinks that because Jungkook thinks the exact same.

Taehyung doesn't think much of Yoongi's reaction. the two of them continue to walk to Helena's speech for today- both of them with a huge crush they think they don't deserve.

"the topic of interest today is..."

Helena stands up straight, hands flicking her hair behind her shoulders- expression serious yet approachable. "addiction. now, when i say that word, everyone's minds immediately drift to negativity and judgement."

"however, i know what it's like to be addicted and i know what it's like to think that way of a person." Helena shrugs. "i am an ex smoker. i smoked like my life depended on it ... i guess it did. i met a special person through a stick of nicotine. you wouldn't even believe." a short, nice laugh leaves her.

"that's how we met. through cigarette breaks. greeting each other, smiling and sharing. we still stayed friends when i quit smoking." Helena explains. the story seems to put a smile to her face, indicating that it's a memory she's fond of.

"everyone knows smoking is bad for you. substance, alcohol, whatever it may be. everyone knows it's bad, that addictions are bad for you." some nod throughout the crowd. Yoongi wonders if there are any addicted people present- what are they addicted to?

"it's like a bad love affair. that's what my friend told me. you want to stop, you know it's bad but you're in love." Helena walks in a straight line, back and forth. "that's truly addiction..."

Yoongi realised two things after the talk.

firstly, Helena presents talks every week. she initiates a different question, topic and interest. she looks for what people are interested in. she motivates, inspires and preaches. Yoongi's started to attend more, that's how he knows what she does and talks about.

secondly, Taehyung is the smoker Helena had mentioned in the story. he's the special friend she met through cigarettes and toxic smoke.

Yoongi realised when he noticed relaxed Taehyung dropping his lighter. he picked it up casually, slipping it into his big pocket as he ignored Yoongi's stare. he's the addicted boy who thinks he doesn't deserve a good boy like Jungkook. it's a splendid story.

//

one day, shocked Helena noticed quiet Yoongi. he attends with Taehyung every time and today, there was no escape of avoiding her sight.

"interested?" is the first thing the female asks.

Yoongi is trembling in her presence. she's royalty in his eyes.

"is this what you do?" Yoongi diverts the question.

"nah." Helena doesn't look away from him. "i'm a student here too."

"i'd like to contribute." Yoongi shocks both Helena and Taehyung.

"but my way of making a difference isn't by talking..." Yoongi struggles to make eye contact with daunting and beautiful Helena. "it's through music." his fingers are itching to play.