Desperado

part 4

i get inside the motel and throw my bag on the bed. i lock the doors and shut the windows, i turn off all the lights and lay down on the bed

motels gross me out, i wonder if they even cleaned the sheets from the last time someone slept here

i'd rather sleep in my damn car

i take a deep breath as joeys words constantly replay in my head,

"i said i don't care, do us a favor and turn yourself in. make it easier for us"

i start to cry in the pillow, i overrated. i took my anger out on him but that still doesn't give him any right to say that to me

it was our first argument... the last time we fought was so long ago i don't even remember it

how could he even say something like that... to me? my heart shatters again and i scream inside the pillow letting all my anger out

what if he always felt like this? i mean how can you say something like that out of anger? he would never purposely try and hurt me

i sit up and wipe my tears, he's obviously has been thinking this for a while. so was it all a lie or am i just over thinking all of this right now

i need a drink. i grab my keys again and make my way to the car. i know i have eyes on my everywhere at the moment but i also know that no one will take me with all these people around

i drive to the closest liquor store and park my car right in front of it. i look around the place before i get out. it's 6pm and it's already dark outside

no one even knows i'm here, i'll be safe for a couple of days then i'll leave again. i walk inside and smile at the worker. it's empty, and quiet. i don't think much of it and grab my drinks

this liquor store has way more stuff then i expected, i look in more aisles and grab some chips. the place is more like a CVS.

i stop in my tracks when i see the blonde hair dye, i raise my brow at it and grab one. going blonde wouldn't be so bad, plus no one could recognize me

i take all my stuff and lay them down at the counter, the man sends me a confused glance

"20.37" he says

i give him exact and stare at the cigarettes behind him, "actually, can i also get a marlboro"

he raises his brow, "do you have an ID?"

i pull out my ID and hand it over to him, he reads it carefully before giving it back to me, "you don't look 27"

he throws me the cigarette and i shove it in my pocket, "how old do i look?"

"i thought you were 17" he jokes and i roll my eyes, he puts my stuff in a bag and hands me them

"have a good night elena" i hear him say as i walk out the store

"you too" i whisper

i get back inside my car and take out the cigarettes. i've never smoked in my life but there's a first time for everything right?

i drive back to the dirty motel and see a blonde girl sitting by the offices door, she knocks on the door but no one is there to answer her

her eyes land on me when i get out the car, "are they closed?" she ask me

"yea, they closed 2 hours ago" i inform her and she groans

"are you kidding me? i have no place to stay"

she's wrapped in a blanket with a scar under her eye, "do you know any places that are open?"

i lock my car and shake my head, "maybe motel 6?"