Desperado

part 40

"what do you mean?" lexi says over the phone

i run my hand through my hair, "she doesn't recognize me" my voice cracks

i walk in circles around the kitchen to ease my panic attack but it seems to only make it worse

"joey just clam down, have you called the doctors? maybe it's a side effect on the pills she was taking" 

"loosing your memory isn't a side effect by any pills! lexi... she doesn't remember me" i cry

"joey there is so many pills that may cause memory loss" i can hear her grabbing car keys

i grab the pill bottle from the kitchen counter "they only gave her 2 prescriptions and they're both pain killers"

"what's the name of her pain killers" she ask

"i don't fucking know pain killers?" i shake my head

"i'm coming over right now what's your address"

i give her the address of my new home and pray that she won't give it to anyone. this was me and elenas safe spot

it still hasn't fully hit me that she lost her memory. i feel like maybe i'm in a bad dream or i'm hallucinating from her getting hit in front of me

she ends the call on me and i slam my phone on the floor. i open the fridge and take out some water and take down a Advil; 3

i've been through hell and back but this hurts so much more. more then me leaving her for 6 years, more then her and ethans relationship, this is just so much more different, so much more

i just can't believe something like this would happen especially with everything going on right now

i walk up to our room, she's sitting on the bed leaning back on the headboard. she looks at me and smiles, a forced one

she doesn't know who i am but she trusts me and that some what comforts me

i walk over to the table and grab some pictures of jay and sophia, some of me and her, hoping maybe this will help her remember me something

i sit down next to her with the pictures in my hand, "i'm going to show you some pictures, i want you to tell me if you know who they are"

she nods, "alright"

i first give her the picture of jay and sophia. she takes the picture from me slowly and runs her finger on it

a smile forms on her face, "this one looks like
you" she points at jay

she then looks at sophia, "this one is so beautiful, who are they?" she ask me

she looks up at me with a smile, i look her in the eyes not knowing how the hell im going to tell her

what is even going on through her head? is it blank? does she remember her parents? does she even remember anything? i want to ask her so many things but if i do she'll lose trust in me

i ignore her question and give her the picture of her and i, she has to remember this one. it's the same picture we have in the heart necklace that lexi bought for her

the necklace that means so much to the both of us

she furrows her brows, "is that me?"

"yea" i gulp

"i'm never going brunette ever again" she says and we both laugh

she looks at me and smiles, a little spark in her eyes when she looks at me but it's quick to go