Loving the Nightmare ✅

Chapter : 57

Misha's POV:

Varun's eyes softened the moment he looked at the report, he ran his fingers over it probably over Tanvi's name and then the report fell from his hand and he sat down on his knees crying very hard. A site I never wished to watch.

"Varun, please. Please control yourself." I consoled him, running my hand over his head, making him look at me but nothing worked, he just cried more and more. Everyone gathered in my room, when they heard him cry.

"What happened Bhabhi?" Janvi asked and took the report from the floor. She was crying already but when she read the report, even she started crying more, the report passed towards everyone and they came to know that it was not me. Tanvi was pregnant. I knew they had lot of questions for me but everyone was too hurt to ask anything now.

"Varun, please control yourself." Mom said as she sat next to him. She hugged him however that didn't helped either, he was going on crying.

"I can't mom." he answered in between.

"I know it's difficult for you but you have to control yourself." Dad said. Everyone was trying to make him understand but he didn't listen to us, he was too broke for that. Asking him not to cry at this situation was similar to asking not to breathe. It was hard to see him cry but I wanted him to do it, if not anything at least he would feel much better after he stops. He need to take out his pain, I wished I could make him say whatever he felt but that was difficult as well, so I let him cry.

After sometime Varun relaxed a little bit. He didn't stop crying, he still had tears in his eyes but he was better than before. I told everyone to go and rest, they were not willing to but it was late already, they needed to sleep and Varun needed it too. Everyone went out, Janvi closed the door before she left. Varun was sitting on the couch now, his head pressed backwards and eyes focused at the ceiling. I noticed one by one a tear slide from his eye, so I went and wiped it, Varun didn't protest neither did he looked at me.

I went and sat beside him, holding his hand in mine.

"Varun." I whispered. He didn't look at me however he did spoke further.

"You know what Misha, Tanvi was very happy that day, I asked her so many times to tell me what it was but she kept saying that she wants to see my expression and so I should come home early. I never once imagined her to be saying this news. We were not planning for a baby, Isha was very young at that time, we wished to focus at her and on our work."

"I did left office the moment she ended her call because I was very excited unfortunately I never got a chance to meet her. I never thought it would be the last time we talked."

"You know what hurts me the most? All these time I thought that I lost my love, my life turns out I lost my kid as well. I lost my child even before it entered this world."

"Tanvi wished to have a baby boy and on the other hand, I wanted another baby girl, We used to fight a lot about it."

Everything Varun said, made me hurt. I was trying very hard not to cry in front of him but after what he said, I was not able to control myself. He was having a bad time and I wished to be his rock but I melted, in stead of stopping him, I was crying as well.

"Life would have been so different if she was alive, I would have been a proud father of two kids, everyone in the house would have been so happy. How unfortunate, nothing like that happened." He said as I felt a different kind of pain build inside me.

If she was alive, Life would really have been so different. I might be still engaged with my work, mom would have made 100 requests to make me marry, I would have never met this family and to Varun, I would still have been the same non-existent person.

Oh god, why am I thinking about myself?

"Varun." I said and took his another hand in my hand as well.

"I know it's difficult for you but you need to control yourself. There isn't anything we can do about it now. I know your loss is something which you can't recover ever but you need to understand that hurting yourself won't make any change, please calm down." I said making him look at me.

"I can't Misha. I'm not able too. Every passing second makes me realize what I lost." He said and started crying again. I let go of his hands and started to wipe his tears, I was not able to do it because Varun hugged me as he started crying more now. I was caught off guard, firstly because it was a very new thing to me and secondly because when a person hugs you and start crying that means, they trust us in their pain and sadness.

"It's late, you should sleep now." I said. He broke the hug and shook his head.

"I'm ok." he replied.

"You need to rest Varun, please." I requested however he shook his head again so I had to make him stand and help him walk towards the bed.

"I will go back to my room." he said. no, I can't let him do it. He will see Tanvi's picture and will start crying again.

"It's ok. I won't disturb you, sleep here."

"Isha?" he asked.

"She is with Janvi, I will go and check." I replied. He was hesitating to go and sleep, so again I had to do it myself. I made him sit, then made him lay down and then finally covered him with blanket. I dimmed the lights and went to remove my accessories. I looked at Varun and saw him still looking at the ceiling with eyes wide open. I don't think he is going to sleep today.

"You should try sleeping now." I said as I went and sat next to him and then I literally made him sleep just like how we make small babies sleep. I kept running my hand over his head until he finally closed his eyes and slept.

"Good night." I whispered and came out of my room. I needed to drink water and so I was going to kitchen, the lights were already on, so I guessed someone was there already. I went ahead and saw Mom and Dad. Dad was consoling Mom, as she was still crying, I didn't wish to stand there and hear their conversation but was not able to control myself, when I heard dad saying the thing, what was concerning him more at this moment.

"I was very hopeful, I thought maybe this is the time where Varun will accept Misha but now that he found out this, what will happen next?"

Not to sound selfish but this is the question I have been scared about as well. I knew Varun started to feel something about me during these past few days, now I don't know what is going to happen.

"Misha." Dad called as he saw me standing near the door.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have heard that." I apologized.

"I'm sorry my child, I don't know what to tell you now." he said very sadly.

"It's not your mistake dad, you don't have to be sorry about it." I assured him. He then asked me about Varun and I informed that he is sleeping now.

I really wished to ask them what was I supposed to do now but none of us were in the situation to discuss that. I don't know what am I going to do about me and my life however if there's anything, I'm sure about then it's the thing that, I want Varun to be happy again. I want the same happy Varun again, The Varun with whom I fell in love with, I need him back. His pain is definitely bigger but I will do whatever I can, to make him happy again and then about me, I will let my own fate decide, what it has for me in future.

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