𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 (𝑇𝑎𝑒𝑔𝑔𝑢𝑘) ✓

♦THIRTY-TWO♦

Jeongguk had a pain in his chest.

He's had it since he's woken up - really he's had it all week but is only aware of it now. The younger didn't remember a time when he felt more stressed, more on edge. Jeongguk was standing in the middle of the hallway, trying to find a way to get rid of the excruciating pain in his chest. 

Jeongguk wondered if it was because of all of the training. He's been training for the past week with his mother, and it was a challenge, to say the least. Jeongguk didn't want to do it, but he knew he had to now. He had gotten this far, hadn't he?

Jeongguk wondered if it was because of all of the rules he had to memorize. Not only did he have to train, but the hunters practically had their own constitution. He had to memorize every single rule and their meanings, which took up a lot of his time.

"Hey," Jimin said, sneaking up behind him. He entwined their fingers together, now holding hands.

But really, that pain in his chest was because of the guilt he felt towards Jimin.   

The two weren't officially dating, but they weren't just friends either. Jimin still seemed to think something was between them, and Jeongguk still hasn't told him that he doesn't feel that way about him anymore because he needs a distraction. But it just made him feel like an asshole.

Plus, whatever Jimin did to him made him only wish Taehyung was doing it, and that made him feel the most remorse.

"Do you wanna go to lunch together?" Jimin asked, squeezing his hand.

Jeongguk was frozen. The pain in his chest was only increasing, and he felt himself having trouble breathing. He didn't say anything for a while, which made Jimin frown.

"Jeongguk, did you hear me?" Jimin said, walking Jeongguk to the side so that they weren't blocking the hallway for the rest of the other students.

Jimin was talking to him, but Jeongguk couldn't fully hear him anymore. Now suddenly, he heard muffled voices and ringing. The sound of his heartbeat was loud in his ears, and he was trying to breathe but it felt almost impossible.

Jeongguk didn't know what was going on. He felt like he was underwater; struggling for air while being pulled under by tide. He felt like he was on the surface, gasping for air when really he was just being pulled down further.

"I-I have to go" Jeongguk managed to get out, walking away from the older. His vision was blurry, but somehow he still knew where he was going.

"Breathe," Jeongguk told himself, "just breathe for a little longer and you'll be okay."

Finally, after making his way through the sea of teenagers, Jeongguk walked into the bathroom. He found a random stall and fell to the floor, forgetting to lock it.

A/N: trigger warning: panic attack scene is coming. pls skip if this is triggering or uncomfortable to you. I'll mark where it ends so you can just stroll down if any of you need too <3 

Jeongguk sat down, gasping for air. His heart was pounding so fast that he thought it was going to explode out of his chest. His hands were trembling and he felt sweat run down his temples.

He was having a panic attack. 

Jeongguk closed his eyes, trying to control his breathing. Jeongguk knew he was having a panic attack, and no matter what he did it wouldn't stop. The last time he had a panic attack was in seventh grade during the school dance. It was in front of the entire school, and he had been going through such a hard time after his brother's death.

His emotions were like a wildfire. Jeongguk felt guilty for playing Jimin but also hated his mother for lying to him and for pulling him into her world. Really, he hated his mother for putting him in this position, but he also hated himself for going along with it all like it was nothing.